Thursday, November 19, 2009

Going My Way?

I was doing a little online research the other day and somehow ended up on a page with lots of lame pick-up lines. I couldn't help but laugh when reading them and thought you might get a kick out them too.

Of course, it got me thinking about my own dating days and two incidents that still make me laugh twenty some years later.

The first was back in the early 1980's, I was at my favorite club dancing to all the New Wave tunes while wearing my pointed spike heels. After four or five songs in a row, I had to give my poor aching feet a break so I went to sit down and have a drink. While I was sitting there, this guy comes up to me and asks me to dance. With my feet aching and my shoes off under the table I politely declined by saying "No Thank You." But before I could tell him my feet were aching and I would love to dance after a short break,  he said to me

"Don't thank me, thank God someone asked you to dance"

He then turned on his heel and left. Okay, not really a pick-up line but a statement that got me laughing and within a few weeks, Mike and I were good friends and dance buddies.

The second was in the late 1980's, I was at a bar walking through the crowds when I felt a hand on my butt. I turned around and this guy says to me with the biggest smile I've ever seen

"That was me, I just put my phone number in your back pocket, you've got until Friday to use it."

Who could keep a straight face after that.  It wasn't long before Marco and I became great dance buddies but I never did use that infamous number.

Just for fun, here are some of the lines I found that night while surfing the net:

I've heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy?
Excuse me, but I'm new in town, can I have directions to your place?
Can I buy you a drink or would you just prefer the five bucks?
Am I cute enough yet or do you need more to drink?
You know what would look great on you? Me!
Can I read your T-Shirt in brail?
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.
The body is made up of 90% water and I'm thirsty.
Baby, you must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night!
That's a nice shirt.  Can I talk you out of it?

Sure makes me glad I'm out of the bars!

What are the funniest lines you've heard or used?  Care to share? Leave a comment!


47 comments:

honeypiehorse said...

Thank God someone asked you to dance is the best line ever. Not the best pick up line but the best snappy comeback.

The Mommyologist said...

"You are more beautiful than my daughter!" Um, GROSS!!!

Oh yeah, and another fave of mine while living down south...so read this imagining the guy with a southern drawl:

"You sure smell nice."

PJ said...

i worked in the bars for 22 years and have heard so many lines. but i'm afraid that my sometimers has taken hold and i can't remember any of them...lol. there was one about taking the stars out of the skies and putting them in my eyes or something lame like that. it was hilarious watching the guys picking up the women though. have a great day!

Ina in Alaska said...

Just catching up with this post and wordless Wed. Lovely picture!! Show us some more sometime please, it looks lovely. I too would enjoy sitting on your front porch and looking out at that view!

Regarding pickup lines, so fun it is an art form, in my opinion. I am a crossword puzzle person so I am always intrigued by clever come ons. Now one must add to bar "issues" vigilance about your drinks as the date rape drug has been used to spike unsuspecting women's beverages. We have had a few incidents of bad outcomes from women ingesting their drinks containing the date rape drug. Be careful ladies!!! And enjoy the pickup lines as a form of entertainment! oh and one more rant... our office parking lot is behind 2 bars. On weekends when the bars close there must be massive partying out in the parking lots. On Monday morning there is always broken glass, bottles, discarded cigarrettes, now covered by snow, but it is pretty disgusting to arrive at work on Monday morning to quite a mess...... xoxo

Martha in PA said...

Ah, the 80s. The good old days of being free and reckless! I was not really into the "dance scene" but we used to have some crazy times none the less with my "happy hour" buddies. Happy Hour for us lasted from 5 until early morning!

mama-face said...

I haven't heard a pick up line in an eon; the best I hear now is in the form of a question. As in, it's Saturday, right?

The water one KILLED.

You were/are a very forgiving and cool gal. Woman. Girl. (You pick.) :)

great post. and I love that you ended with Leave a comment!!!

maya said...

everytime I buy a twelve pack at the convenience store across the street some fool asks me if I need help drinking it.
The answer is always no but you may help pay for it. No takers so far

Too Many Hats said...

Wow, it takes a lot of confidnece or cockiness for a guy to use any of those lines. At the moment I cannot think of any lines - must be too early.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

That dude that said Thank God someone asked you to dance...hilarious. I wish someone would have said that to me when I was in my single stage..I was very sassy back then...I've mellowed...a tiny bit.

Lissaloo said...

too funny :)
I am SO glad to not be a single person :)

glitterbygrammie said...

I know what you mean PJ I also worked in the bars for years. Watched some strange things happen. We used to bet to see who was going home with who.
I can't remember any of the lines eithr. To much time has passed.

Rasha @ and this is what she said... said...

Too dang funny, "Can I read your tshirt in brail" Im falling on the floor laughing.

I've heard lame ones like:

"Your father must have been a robber, cause he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes."

I cant even think of them because they are so lame, haha.

Margaret aka: Fact Woman said...

Oh did you bring back memories of discos in the late 70's, I'm older than you!!! LOL the worst like I ever got was, Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel! Just threw up a bit in my mouth. UGHHH. I did learn that it was so much easier when a guy asked for my number to just give them a fake number (the Boston Police department non-emergency number) than it was to argue and explain why I wasn't going to give it to them. 343-4200- still remember it. Hey thanks for being my 100th follower. Love your blog.

yonca said...

Those are sooo funny! Nothing comes in my mind now. I'm still laughing at last one :)

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

hmmm that was way too long ago to remember any pick up lines

Tamara said...

hahahaha you just took me down memory lane. I was out on the dance floor looking like Madonna in the early 80's. hahahaha

Great pick up lines!!

I'm giving you the Heartfelt Blogger Award, come on over and pick it up: http://www.homespunheartscandles.blogspot.com

Jessica said...

It's been hears since I've heard any lines but I've got to tell you "Don't thank me, thank God someone asked you to dance" is the best!

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

I said to B when I first met him "I'm gonna marry you" worked.

singedwingangel said...

I was never a club or bar kind of girl.. My current hubby and I were friends long before we were married. We all got to talking one night at work the subject of fantasies came up.. His response " angel"
Yeah that sealed it for me lol

Anita said...

Like some of the other readers, I can't remember. But I did have a thought as I read: my daughter will be dating in a three years or so - I need to print your list and give it to her and tell her to WATCH OUT! :)

Frau said...

So funny! I have not heard a pick up line in so many years...I can't even remember any.

blueviolet said...

How drunk would one have to be for a line like these to work? I love the hereafter line, although it never would have worked.

Actually, I don't think I've ever been to a bar without a date. Isn't that odd?

Nezzy said...

Back in the early 70's and everyone was spaced out on drugs and strobe lights the first words heard was, "do ya like to party?" I'm thinkin' one would need to be high for these lines to work. Heeeheeehe!

Ya'll enjoy the day and may it be filled with many blessings and void of lame pick~up lines!!!!

Nezzy said...

I just wanted to thank you for poppin' in with your sweet comment and hoppin' on. I sure hope you enjoy the ride. Did you drop down and read Ring OF Fire? My take on menopause or in other words, everything your mother never told ya and then some.

In the words of Granny Clampett, "ya'll come back now, ya hear!!!"

kys said...

LOL! I was thinking of doing a similar post someday. (That doesn't mean that I will. Or will remember thinking that.)

I already blogged the best "I gotta tell ya right now, I love to hunt and fish".

Those jeans sure look good on you. They'd look even better hanging on my bedpost.

Holly said...

My brother is the king of these lines...apparently one worked...he is married. His favorite is
"Is your dad a thief?"
"No"
"well, then who stole the stars and put them in your eyes."

Thanks for stopping by my place. I am following you now too.

ModernMom said...

Bwhaha....I love the
"Can I buy you a drink or wold you just prefer the 5 bucks line!"

It's been so long since I've heard a pickup line I can't remember any!

ModernMom said...

Bwhaha....I love the
"Can I buy you a drink or wold you just prefer the 5 bucks line!"

It's been so long since I've heard a pickup line I can't remember any!

Erin said...

I don't remember any pick up lines offhand, which means I either have Alzheimer's or no one has ever tried to pick me up. It's likely the latter of the two.

The Fertility Shop said...

Makes me glad I'm out of the dating scene too. I go out with my girlfriends now and then and I'm so glad that I don't have to deal with some of these guys. The bad ones ruin it for all the good ones.

Angelia Sims said...

HA! Great post! I love cheesy pick up lines.

Here is my favorite....

Did you eat Lucky Charms for breakfast? Because you are magically delicious!

Bwahahaha!

staceyjwarner said...

not sure but the last guy who tried to pick me up by touching my ass got beat up...long story but a goody...maybe i'll blog about it...

much love

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Those are some terrifically Awful lines! I've always hated pick up lines. But those would at least make me laugh...

Noelle said...

how bout this one:

"did it hurt?"
"what?"
"when you fell from heaven."

yeah, someone actually said that to me. and it worked...i married him.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I just remember hearing guys say to my twin sis and I, "Is it true, double the pleasure, double the fun?" Ewwww...double gross...ewww.

I was never flattered by pickup lines. In fact, there is this guy that I run into on random occasions and he makes me want to barf with his old outdated pickup lines. One of them was, "You look lucky. You want to be my good luck charm." Eeeewwww.

Respectfully Yours said...

I once was told I was "soft as cotton" - gag

Ashley @ KiwisandCocktails said...

I just read on Lee's blog your comment- you got married in NZ!!
I met my husband in NZ. He is from there. We got married here in the States, but we had a small ceremony in NZ with his family and friends. Where in NZ did you get married? They dont make a big fuss about weddings over there like we do here...AKA- they dont spend that kind of money on it there!
I Would LOVE to hear about your NZ wedding!

gayle said...

It's sad but I don't think I have ever had a pick up line..got married to young

HeartsMakeFamilies said...

You just brought back some very old memories lol.

I think the best one I ever had was: Here's a slip of paper with the man of your dreams number on it.

Corny but ohh how I loved it.

Heather said...

Am I cute enough yet or do you need more to drink?...I've heard that one! I used to work in a bar and thought I had heard them all, but you got some I never heard.

I wrote a post simular to this one, a while back, called "pick up lines", which was inspired by this new line "Have you ever cooked Chicken Fried Steak?"

WhisperingWriter said...

I haven't heard any lines. Is that sad?

I met my husband in high school so he didn't use those. I think he shuffled up to me and went, "Hey," and then I went, "Hey," and then we were going out...

Menopausal New Mom said...

Well, I want to thank everyone for fessing up and sharing all the lame pick-up lines they had not only heard but fell for!

Thank God this one was based on a trip down memory lane and most of us aren't stuck listening to this crap anymore!

Thanks for sharing and commenting!

newmumover40 said...

Ah, dating! I am SO glad I am not there anymore. 20 odd years of on and off dating was more than enough!

TangledEutopia said...

I just loved how you called mindless surfing..."research"

I call it research when I lock the bedroom door and tell the kids we're sleeping...

Buckeroomama said...

These are funny! Although that said, if one of these was used on me, I wouldn't know to laugh, be flattered or be insulted that they'd think I'd fall for it. :)

Frugal Vicki said...

I can't even remember the best pick-up lines because I am still laughing at the Thank God comment. I would have chased after him and hit him with my stinky shoe. That is too freaking hilarious. Apparently he got turned down enough that he needed a comeback.

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