Friday, October 30, 2009

Are You Annoyed?

This scene plays out at our home so often that I just had to find out if anyone else is wondering why there are some habits that you just can't change in your partner.

It usually happens between 8:00 am and 8:15 am.  I'm downstairs getting things ready for my daughter who usually gets up around 8:30.  I'm puttering around in the kitchen getting her breakfast ready and at some point notice that there are a few crumbs on the counter where my husband prepared his breakfast earlier.  I glance over at the divider between my double sinks to locate the dish cloth and it isn't there where I left it.






That's when you will hear that moan of dread from me.  Over to the sink I will go and there in the bottom, usually poking out from under a dirty bowl or plate is my dish cloth.  It's always rolled up in a ball and soaking wet.  Ewwwwww!!! Just touching this cold, sopping wet cloth will make my stomach turn and most days when this happens, I haven't even had the chance to drink my morning coffee.

It doesn't matter how many times I ask or plead with my husband not to throw that dish cloth across the room and into the sink, I can count on finding it there at least twice a week.  What's even more scary is wondering what he has used it for.  Maybe the floor or his shoes (why don't SOME men know that there is a BIG difference between the cloth that washes the dishes we eat off of and the rag that should be used to wipe up the floor we walk on?!).  I guess I should be thankful knowing that when I find it in the sink, it's obvious he's used it to wipe something (you can use your imagination here) and it's time to dig out a clean one.

The good news?  He is slowly learning that he has to put his dirty clothes in the hamper if he wants them to reappear freshly cleaned and folded, he doesn't leave the cap off of the toothpaste and he doesn't leave the toilet seats up.  Truth is, around here I'm the one who leaves the toilet seats up on a regular basis, after all, I'm the only one who cleans them!!

25 comments:

Buckeroomama said...

Can't complain much about hubby, except for the fact that sometimes he does forget to put the seat back down... I'm usually okay with it, except for those times in the middle of the night when I can't see very well and am half asleep and I sit down smack on the cold porcelain! Talk about a rude awakening.

Rabbit said...

Ooooh I feel ya! I am a self-professed neat FREAK. I admit it - heavy on the neat - heavy on the freak; my housemate, however, is a female version of Dan Connor from the Roseanne show. It drives me absolutely mad. But I am learning to pick my battles. Is it really worth impersonating The Exorcist on a daily basis over poor housekeeping habits? (Well, to me, it is, actually.) I just don't understand WHY it is so difficult to rinse the milk out of your glass... Seriously...

Okay, climbing down off my soapbox now.

But you have my empathy on this one.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

My hubby is a pig. That's all I have to say. He's a pig.

Martha in PA said...

No hubby to do annoying things, but Tara (she's 12) will not put her toothbrush back in the holder when she is done or throw away the dixie cup! The trash can is RIGHT next to the sink, and it takes no more energy to place the brush in the holder than on the counter!

I hate when the sponge or dish cloth is all icky at the bottom of the sink.

Ina in Alaska said...

After 22 years of marriage I am thankful to be able to have MY OWN BATHROOM so I do not have to use my husband's skanky toilet.

He never takes out the trash! EVER!

Whenever I leave town on a trip the kitchen becomes a MAN CAVE. You should see how crispy our dishcloth is when I get home. He uses the same one every day on whatever. When I get home it and the dish towels are immediately tossed into the laundry and sterilised.

Having said all of that, I have learned just to keep my complaining to myself and just do it. Not worth the energy to argue about and there are better things to argue over.

Happy Halloween!! xoxoxo

Frau said...

It's hard to teach an old dog a new trick! My husband thinks he is so tidy but I disagree and follow behind him cleaning up.

Menopausal New Mom said...

Hi Buckeroomama, oh, that rude awakening in the night would be so much worse that my soaking wet dishcloth!

Hi Rabbit, thanks for commenting, you're right about picking our battles wisely, I try to keep this in mind every time I pick that cloth up out of the sink. Dried milk in the glass? Yuck! Hope you have a dishwasher to take care of it for you!

Hi Lee, he's a pig? Who does the housework with you blogging most of the day??!! I thought you had a househusband!

Hi Martha, I'd probably cut Tara some slack since she is only 12 but my hubby is a grown man!

Hi Ina, thanks for sharing. Actually, I take out the trash around here. Maybe I should be complaining about that too! You're right though, pick your battles wisely. You have your own bathroom? Lucky Gal!

Hi Frau, thanks for stopping by. At least your hubby pretends to be neat! Not mine, I take care of the cleaning around here although not always that well. He's actually asked me if I wanted to get a cleaner when he sees dust building up. Why can't he just get a cloth (not my dishcloth!) and do the dusting instead?

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

you should use shammies. you can sterilize them in the microwave!

Corrie Howe said...

Oh, good. I've wondered about these things too. I've been thinking about a post on all the things that drive me nuts...but then the post wouldn't be about my son any more.:-)

Anita said...

My husband is the complete opposite. I have a kitchen drawer with several dish cloths and dish towels in it. My husband will pull out a clean one EVERYTIME he wipes a countertop, like he's using a papertowel or something. And this is during one meal. Isn't that what hot, soapy water is for...to dip, rinse, and hang it back up. Instead, at the end of our Sunday meal (that's the day that he cooks), I have to take five wet dishcloths to the laundry.
It used to irk me to no end, but now I am learning to "not sweat the small stuff." :)

staceyjwarner said...

mmmmm, once again, glad I'm single. I have my hands full with one child. I don't need two!

much love

kys said...

My Hubs' mother waited on him hand and foot and I have to as well. If I don't, my house is a disgusting mess.

mama-face said...

Well, my husband's bad habit with the washcloth is getting a new one out of the drawer every single time he comes into the kitchen. I'd use paper towel for everything if I could. My conscience won't let me!

Mammatalk said...

Ah, yuck! I think that would cause me to growl a bit.

yonca said...

My hubby used to ask me 'can i use this one'? Now, he changed, hehe..He uses paper towel and i'm so OK with that! Have a great weekend!

Menopausal New Mom said...

Hi Martinis or Diaper Genies, I will definitely be looking into getting shammies, didn't know they made them for kitchen use but anything would be better than facing that soaking wet dish cloth.

Hi Corrie, I think we all wonder about these things every now and then, Thanks for stopping by.

Hi Anita, now if only our husbands could get together and strike that perfect balance! Yeah, I try not to sweat the small stuff either but this one habit annoys the Hell out of me some mornings!

Hi Stacey, yes there is something to be said about a house where you are not running around cleaning up after a man! One child is plenty! Thanks for commenting!

Hi Kys, yes there are a lot of Mama's Boys out there and the sad thing is, we complain about our husbands and then turn around and do everything for our own sons creating a new generation of slobs. Hard to break that cycle!

Mama-face, thanks for stopping by. Your hubby must be related to Anita's Lol!

Mamatalk, You said it, I do my share of growling! Thanks for commenting.

Hi Yonca, Your husband asks?? Wow, you have him well trained! Thanks for stopping by and hope you enjoy your weekend as well.

blueviolet said...

I have been trying to get a change of behavior from my husband for the last 24 years. Nothing works!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I guess it could be worse but in my case, Boo is the anal guy when it comes to cleaning up. I don't sweat the small stuff, although I do love a clean house and kitchen but my pet peeve is that I will wipe the table and place mats and he will come behind me and wipe them again. No matter how many times I tell him that I cleaned the table already, he still cleans up behind me.

At least you don't find the dishtowel in the garbage disposer. Yuck!

Connie K said...

My husband has seen me yell & complain at my kids for this way too many times for him to be any part of it (lol) he likes everything clean ! but my 3 older kids ugh !! please everyday there's something of their's they dont pick up and they are 22,21,18 come on when does it all kick in !! They just love to hear me rag on them i guess ! im felling ya sister

Menopausal New Mom said...

Hi Blueviolet, Thanks for stopping by, I promise, if I discover the secret of how to change their behavior, I'll let you know!

Hi Chocolate Covered Daydreams, I think I would fall over if my husband cleaned anything after I had already done it! Ewwww! Thankfully we don't have a garbage disposal. Should count my lucky stars for that one!

Hi Connie, I think it's time to either get a housekeeper or read the kids the riot act! Good luck girl!

Just Playin' said...

MIne is pretty good in the kitchen with the rag and all but he stills leaves the toilet seat up! I just pick my battles, ya know? But man, when I pick one, I'm on it!

Menopausal New Mom said...

Hi Just Playin', Lots of ladies have been saying that they pick their battles wisely. Glad to see that when most of us pick one, we let loose, must be the hormones or lack there of!

ethelmaepotter! said...

Ooooh, we're man-bashing!
The closest my Fred and I ever came to divorce was over his dirty clothes on the floor. I tried everything: moving the hamper to that side of the room, leaving the lid open, etc. Nothing worked. He actually told me it was MY JOB TO PICK UP HIS DIRTY UNDERWEAR OFF THE FLOOR!!!! Well, of course, I simply refused from that moment on. It became a battle of wills. He demanded, he begged. He tried bribery. His pile of dirty clothes actually toppled over, it grew so large. He bought new socks and underwear when he ran out of clean ones. And, twice, I heard him quietly get out of bed in the middle of the night and do laundry.
This went on for more than a month, before he one day succumbed and put his clothes in the hamper. He's had a few backsliding episodes since, but I just ignore the pile, and he relents within a few days.
It was my first ever victory in the war between men and women. Long live the Queen!

Menopausal New Mom said...

You RULE Ethelmaepotter! looking forward to lots of stories and advice in the future. Exactly the attitude we need to take when dealing with our men! Congratulations on scoring such a great victory!

bingo house said...

"You won't get what you want if you keep on doing that" is the line that works for me. That, if I can catch him. But when he returns home, I'll be very firm on that condition. The next day, I put some post-it notes to remind him. It would take him to be reminded all the before he won't do what he shouldn't do. Eventually, that unwanted habit, disappear . . it took awhile.