Friday, September 10, 2010

The Ugly Side of Blogging

Some of you have already noticed that I've stopped posting any personal information that I don't want blabbed all over hell's half acre.

This started several months ago when I received an "anonymous" comment on a post I did.  The minute I read it,  I knew exactly who it had come from and a quick look through my google analytics confirmed who was reading me.

Turns out this person who is not a fan of my husband or me heard that I was blogging and rather than let that tidbit go in one ear and out the other, set out on a mission to find my blog.

But I wasn't hiding.  Anyone who wanted to snoop around my 4-year-old daughter's facebook profile (no, she's not a friend but Facebook makes a lot of information available to anyone) would see my immediate family and their blog links with a direct path to Meno Deb.  It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.

I was not trying to hide and honestly didn't think anyone living a "supposedly" happy re-married life would give a rat's ass about my blog.

Well, turns out I'm a pretty good read and rather than get bored and leave, I've watched her pop in and out of here for months.  Early on she found a post I did asking all of you about a family situation.  She didn't like that post or my viewpoint and showed it to her children with the intent to cause as much trouble for me and my husband as possible.  But it didn't work.

At this time, I don't know who else she has given my blog link to and I don't care enough to check.  I have never blocked any one's IP Address and I don't intend to start now.  She can read me, her friends can read me and anyone else who wants to can read my blog.

Menopausal New Mom is a public place where EVERYONE is welcomed.

But here's the catch.

This is My Blog where I write from My viewpoint, give My opinions, do My bitching and share My stories.

Anyone who doesn't like what I write and can't bitch about it without an audience should find a therapist or better yet, start a blog!

post signature

77 comments:

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Sorry to hear that you are getting trolled on by an insider. That sucks.

crisc23 said...

I have the same problem!

Shari said...

Man, Some people need to just grow up! I am so sorry that you have to deal with this crap!

*hugs*

heather@actingbalanced.com said...

Hugs! sorry to hear that you have a troll... it makes blogging that much less fun - hope she and her friends grow up :)

Tree said...

Oh that sucks!! I can't stand people that HAVE no life, so they feel they have to mess with someone elses. :/ I hope you don't see her here again.

EnVii said...

her life must not be so interesting for her to make it a point in her life to always check on you!!! hope she decides to grow up n get a life soon

MsBabyPlan said...

I do agree with Tree, we choose to blog let our thoughts free, if someone come and bug the fun then what is the point.

Sure maybe this person should start a blog. She needs to focus on her own life.

Tiffany Harkleroad said...

I too have the same problems, sorry to hear about yours, do not let this person get you down.

Matty said...

It's a shame that some people just can't mind their own bees wax. They're not satisfied unless they're into everyone else's business, and causing as much trouble as they can. A pat on the back to you Deb for not letting it influence how you run your blog. As you said, it's your blog to do your way. And I hope you keep on doing it your way.

Jeff said...

It seems that there are people out there that constantly think they know what is best for everyone else. They should look into a mirror and see what they see. They might have a better attitute then. Your blog is yours and should always be yours....when you start posting for the masses then that is when it isn't yours anymore.

PS: I am totally mean i would have blocked that person :-) or better yet change the settings on you blog that only people who can comment are those with a google profile :-)

Mindy said...

How pathetic. Who has the time to waste on pettiness like that? I'm glad you didn't let this deter you from continuing to blog your way.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

It's sad that with all that time this person has she/he could do something productive to society and choses to do this.

What a shit head. Is this person in high school? Because adults don't behave in this manner. Not real grown up self evolved adults.

You're right - ignore and move on. It's your blog if I didn't like it I would go else where like tv - change the channel. So this numbnut should do the same.
Get a life.

Melinda said...

I am virutally clapping....I've had 'friends' comment on what I write and have had to tell them that they shouldn't bother reading if they had issue, but I'm not going to stop writing what I want to write.

Ann said...

Idiots with no lives will always be idiots...Glad you are brushing it off and continuing your blog - I PERSONALLY love your blog-clap clap!!!!!!!!!

Dual Mom said...

The bitch in me can't help but think this is an absolutely wonderful time for you to really get under "her" skin. It obviously bothers her...give her somethin' good to read Deb! lol

mo said...

There will always be people to pull us down. Stay creative and inspiring others. Success is the ultimate revenge! *hugs*

Danielle said...

I hate that our space to vent, be happy, what ever it is that is OURS gets invaded. I am glad that you are still here and being you!!!!!

Flufferwuffer said...

This is the exact reason that I decided I was going to stay anonymous(for the most part) in my blogging. Anyone who wanted to find me could, but at least that info isn't available to the passing reader.

It really sucks that people can be so vengeful and use such silly ways to attempt to get back at people!

I am Harriet said...

Who the heck has time for that crap? Get help!

Stopping by from the Friday Hops to say hello!

Have a great Friday!
http://harrietandfriends.com/2010/09/voyage-to-the-bottom-of-the-sea-225/

jensays (what would jen do) said...

i'm sorry to hear that someone has taken your blog and tried to make trouble for you. you are right, these are your opinions and really she's 'stalking' you because she can't get enough of you. you win!

Audrey Spence said...

some people can't seem to get away from the world of high school and act like an adult. this lady and her friends are stupid and who cares about her anyway.... we all love your blog and like to read your posts so screw them. the only reason she blog stalks you is because she's jealous and wishes she was as cool as you :)

Babes Mami said...

I have family that doesn't like that I blog or what I write about and a sister who thinks my 'thing is stupid' but reads it all the time. It's mine, not theirs so it's whatever.

I'm sorry that your having to deal with a problem but glad it's not affecting you!

Kat said...

Way to go, Deb! I've had the same issue in the past. I am so over it. I would, however, like that link to whatever you talked about where you track who comes and reads... :) Can you help?

Life As I Know It said...

the internet is a funny thing sometimes. people can feel that they can say things to a screen that they would never say to a person's face.

Good luck with everything! Sounds like you have the right attitude!

Aimee said...

ugh...people!! what's that saying 'assholes...everybody's got one' lol
sorry someones being a pain in yours. that sucks. sometimes the internet is like walking through those big double doors of high school. insane.
love your blog and i'm following.
aimee

Sassy Sites! said...

Thanks for joining our blog hop over at Sassy Sites! There are some amazing blogs out there, and you are definitely one of them! I'm a follower of yours too! Happy Friday! xoxo

Marni @ Sassy Sites!

~J said...

That's totally lame! Interesting that a happily re-married gal would be so concerned with you Deb...damn you're fabulous! ;)

It's a shame she's being so immature about it...like you said-YOUR blog, YOUR opinions!

Trish said...

Typical. Why are majority of mankind lunatics? Iknow I have had my share of blog stalking from people who just want to bring you down. Glad your well above it....we all knew you would be, but its so easy to let them discourage you. I actually let it get to me, which is why I havent been around, but Im slowly coming around! Glad to see your doing great!

Closer to Lucy said...

I have a similiar situation (mines and ex-coworker that hates me & the husband's ex baby mama who hates us both)

Good for you taking a stand. Haters and their cancer make me sick! Blah!

Red Hamster said...

Well said! Good for you.

(this is why I'm not on Facebook. i've heard too many stories about ex's harassing ex's through FB.)

Beth said...

found you thru Java's hop...I am sorry thing is happening to you...some people are so dumb! Anyway your title caught my eye... I am just "learning" about this menopausal junk!

Nana Poppins said...

Sorry to hear someone would be so petty.
Came in from the Fabulous Friday Follow! New follower.. Hope you follow me back, have a great weekend!

Nana
http://www.nanapoppins.com

Jamarah Crafty Creations said...

Hi just calling by from your latest follower. Sorry to here about your problems. Well done with having a great attitude.

"Make a Friday a day to celebrate work well done that you can be proud of knowing that you just didn't put in time to the next pay check."
Byron Pulsifer
Be sure to check my blog out www.jamarahcraftycreations.blogspot.com
Sarah.

Carrie and Mike Groff said...

So true and well said! Stopping by from Friendly Friday...glad I found you! Look forward to reading more of your posts!

http://livingahealthybeachlife.blogspot.com

Mommas Soapbox said...

You have a new follower.

BTW. I'm always on my soapbox telling it how "I" see it and I think that is exactly why we all have blogs. Keep tellin' it girl. And guess what? I plan to keep reading it.

((((HUGS))) from Cali for you today!

sandy said...

Sorry you had trouble. No one in my family knows anything about blogging cept my SIL, who's cool and linked on my blogs. But, how do you do the IP check thing? Sounds like that would be a good thing to learn. And I didn't know we could block people. I've had some repeated spammers I'd like to block.

Have a great wkend.
Sandy
Follow Friday

kyooty said...

Guess what? everytime they show up? you get traffic! it's awesome!!! If they don't want your blog to succeed? they wont show up, because your ratings go up with every click. :)

Debbie(single;complicated) said...

I could not agree with you more!!! This is your blog! someone who does not like it...should just not read...

Amber said...

Woo hoo! Go Deb! :)

Rebecca S. said...

The last writing workshop I went to was interesting. She awakened us to the fact that writing is a power, and that we should always try to use that power for good. That has become my mantra, and it has saved me a world of trouble in blogland, I think. But I am aware that I am still not immune.
A few people I know have gone for 'your comment will be posted after blogger approval' due to the same issue you have been dealing with. The internet is like any other social situation. It too has its 'good, bad, and ugly'.

Nezzy said...

You go girl, be true to yourself. I remember that post girl and anonymous is still buggin' you? You'd think they would tire and get a hobby. I'm just so sorry you have to deal with this.

Ya'll have a wonderfully blessed weekend free from anyone named Anonymous!!! :o)

Kathie @ Just a Happy Housewife said...

you go girl! :-) anonymous can take a flying leap!

Manang Kim said...

Go go girl!! I love you for this! And you are right they can make their own blog..and for us who own blogs we can write what ever we want to write. In other words we can do our bitching ^_^ here!!!
And you know what, this "anonymous" thingy...is for sure reading our comments too and for her to see that
their are 43 comments her she'd better back off!! ^_^

From Follow 40 Friday.

Buckeroomama said...

Go, Deb! She should move on and get a life.

Respectfully Yours said...

Deb: Speaking from experience...what the hell is with these bitches. They try and suck the life out of everything because they are so damn unhappy themselves. Gives a whole new meaning to stalking. As you know, I was not as brave as you and moved to completely private. Kudos to you for standing up.

You are my hero. We blog friends have to stick together.

Hugs to you.

stacythemagnificentmommy said...

well if i didn't like you before i sure do now! (jj, i liked you before but... you know what i mean)

i feel bad for that other lady. so sad.

The Baby Store Plus said...

My blogging philosophy is:

Pretend that whatever you write in your blog will be read by all...even the person you are referring too in a bitch-session post. If you do that (and I think you do) then you have nothing to fear, feel guilty about, or be ashamed of. If the person who read it doesn't like it...they have the right to not read your blog.

Don't start hiding because someone doesn't like what you said in YOUR blog. Like you said so beautifully, they can always start their own blog to blog about what really bugs them...even it that is you :)

Anna

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

No matter how annoying it is to be "read" by someone who feels that they need to be all up in your Kool-aid, take it as flattery. There's something that you're doing that keeps them wanting to come back for more. When it gets to a point that you want to block that person, then I say, have at it.

GunDiva said...

Love you, Deb.

Really.

There's one topic I must stay away from on my blog if I want to remain married - my in-laws and their fucked up life. How RCC ever ended up normal is beyond me.

I made the mistake of posting one of my "bitches" about them *once* and that was the first time they read my blog. On that day. Now I'm sure they pop in on me from time to time to make sure I'm minding my ps and qs.

lotus82 said...

Wow Deb...this one got quite the response...lol I had this same thing happen to me, my ex's new wife hacked into my email, facebook, myspace and blog...at first I wanted to just shut them all down...but then I realized it wasn't worth it...then I'd just be doing what she wanted me to do...let her ruin my day. Well I left everything up and running and even changed it all to public so she wouldn't have to act like someone else to get me to accept her...lol

You're doing the right thing by not letting her bother you. In fact...this is going to bother her the worst..and that is the FUNNY part, the rest of your readers and I will be laughing along for weeks to come now. I needed a good laught tonight anyways, I can't sleep....abscessed tooth...ouch!!

Anyways...always remember...THOSE WHO MATTER DON'T MIND AND THOSE WHO MIND DON'T MATTER.

That just about sums it up wouldn't you say!!

Enjoy your life...at least you have one...SHE OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT!!!!

~Steph
fortheluvofsanity.blogspot.com
(you know in case she needs someone else to stalk....lol)

Auntie E said...

I had to recently monitor all comments. I do delete the one that are not appropriate for my site. It is bad about the commenter. I often think about putting too much out there but then again my family and friends can read what we are doing. Not everyone likes what we have to say.

Chana said...

Ohhh!! I love this post! And your blog is AWESOME! Found you during the hops this weekend, hope you can swing by my blog and return the follow!!
http://www.mammatown.blogspot.com

Erin said...

I know we already talked about this a bit, but I'm still sorry it's happening.

However, I'm so glad you are standing up to your "troll" and not letting her get you down. WRITE ON, GIRL!

:-)

Katherine ( Katie) Corrigan said...

Stand Up, shout out loud... you have the right to blog, baby blog! So sorry to hear about the troll.
Hugs!

gayle said...

Too many bloggers close down because of this very thing and nasty comments. Good for you for doing what You want!!

Emy said...

It's your personal space, so you keep on blogging about what you want!

P.S.
I'm a new follower. I found you through Sensational Saturday Social.

http://alwaysaroundboys.blogspot.com

Katie said...

Sorry to hear that - But good for you for standing up for yourself.

I am a new follower from Sensational Saturday Social.

http://ashoppersquest.com

Linda Medrano said...

I'm sorry this is going on Deb. Someone has to be a bit goofy to carry on like this. If I find something I don't agree with on a blog, I may say so, respectfully, and using my own name. I don't understand doing it any other way.

Brenda said...

I am your newest follower from Sat blog hops, hope you will drop in and say hi at kittycrochettwo.blogspot.com

Just Married with Coupons said...

Wow! That is so unfortunate to hear! Glad you were able to find out what was going on at least!!

Keep up your great work, we all love yerr betchin around here! lol!

=)

Connie K said...

Wow some people ! good for you though and yes keep up the great work you do ! Sorry ive been MIA but i was just enjoying my summer with the kids :) got to get back into the swing of things !

clenna said...

You go girl - give it to thst crazy witch thast keeps trying to bother you and your family. She needs to grow up and get a life - she is a bully!!! What a creep!

Lily Riani said...

i hv a cousin having the same prob but she is not like you, she stop blogging instead. i thought it was silly. but it's up to her.

Tracey said...

Another blogger I visit has a mantra of sorts...Haters gunna hate.

Nasty people are going to be nasty. She tries to remember that it has very little, if anything, to do with her. That is not exactly the same situation as here, but it is still a good attitude to have.

Please don't let this person rob you of your place here.

newmumover40 (to be!) said...

I really enjoy reading your personal posts. They are always fun and great look at all of our daily lives, as well as your own specific details! I miss them. I do hope that you will be able to go back to it one day.

Tammy said...

Holy cow girl...look how many comments you have on this! I think you hit a huge topic out here in blog-o-land! You should be able to write what you want or feel...go for it girl! :) Who cares!

fancygrlnancy said...

That is too bad people can't just be happy with their own lives and they have to disturb others and try to make trouble..

Abramyan Avenue said...

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I've seen this happen with other bloggers as well. Some people are just happy being mean...what can you do? I guess you have some big importance in her life that she just can't let it go. I'm always honest in my blog..it's MY blog...and I always say, if you don't like what I'm blogging, then feel free to move on!

ethelmaepotter! said...

Since we've already spoken about this via e-mail, I've had some time to think on it and have decided that this person must be very lonely, very insecure, and leads a miserable life. She's probably unhappy in everything she does, and unconsciously seeks to find even more reasons to fortify her insecurities.

Of course, that's no excuse, and you certainly have no reason to put up with it. My hope for you both is that she find some happiness that distracts her from reading your every word, and that you'll go back to showing us photos of your house and telling all your funny stories!

And bravo! for having the courage to write about it!

mama-face said...

Gosh, I'm hearing about lots of these types of situations lately. One blogger I love closed up shop; I think that perhaps something like this may have been the cause, although I'm not sure.

It scares me frankly. And makes me mad. Although I guess it's a chance we all take. WHY people take the time to hurt each other I will never understand. I'm so sorry that this has been going on for you.

xo

Jenna said...

whoo Hoo! I came over from respectfully yours and Love this post! Way to go for you posting this!! *High Five!!!*

Mae Rae said...

holy heavens above...i have to get through 71 comments just to say

AMEN SISTAH!

blueviolet said...

We've talked about this before, but I have to say that you're one tough cookie for staying put! :)

ModernMom said...

Well said Deb! I hope Anonymous was listening.

*ashley* said...

i know exactly how you feel-i actually have 2 seperate blogs, but i had to delete my personal twitter becuase someone who was supposed to be a friend of mine used everything that i said as ammunition against me, or a chance to compete passive aggressively with me. I got so upset and miserable that I had to delete it. I'm glad that you did not delete your blog. I'm sorry that that woman is giving you trouble, but its not for her to judge. blog on!

FrugalMom said...

Oh, yes there are certainly negative sides.

Thank you for participating in last week’s The Wednesday Window. This week there is an extra bonus to the featured blog, and there are new entry options into the free ad giveaway as well.

mmbear said...

Gosh, Deb, you know I am new at this although I have been entering yours and everyone else's contests for almost a year but blogging only over a month or so and it is scary to think someone can mess with something that is yours, not theirs.

And honestly, I try to write funny stuff to make people laugh or smile. I am disabled and have many health issues so this was my way to get it all out. Sometimes I a down a little but by the end of the posting I have picked myself back up.

So, you say what you need to say because if it helps you through with whatever you are dealing with then it is nobody's business except for the good & nice bloggers who want to hear it because we all understand we have bad days & good days but in the end we are all the same. We just want to be liked & loved and feel good about ourselves. I blog to feel better and sometimes things slip here & there but you are the owner and author of the blog. So, these people know that ahead of time so if they get their feelings hurt it is their fault for coming on your blog knowing you are not the best of friends. I am glad to see that we have all come together to support you and each other because as a newbie blogger I would hate to be left out to hang & dry without someone to tell me it's okay. And it looks like I am in good hands! Keep blogging Deb!

Mary