Wednesday, February 24, 2010

To Follow or Not to Follow?

Lately, I've noticed several blogs creating cute buttons and icons in an effort to help us all gain more followers. Personally, I think it's a great opportunity to find other blogs with similar interests and share  stories so I like to play along.

Unfortunately, there is a flip side to this. I've been blogging on a regular basis since last Fall and I probably have somewhere around 300 blogs on my roll that I flip through from time to time when I have a few minutes to check out what's happening.

Of all these blogs, I have only used that "Stop Following" button on a couple of occasions.

This is the first time I reached for that dreaded little button:

I had been following and reading along with this particular blogger for two or three months and noticed a common thread to the author's posts "It's all about me, look at me, look what I bought, look what so and so bought for me, I'm so hawt, I'm so cool, everybody else is a big loser, blah, blah, blah".

I continued to follow this blog, left comments, this blogger dutifully commented back but even return comments held that same "I'm self absorbed, I'm shallow, it's all about me and my perfect body, whatever" attitude. It finally started to dawn on me that this author wasn't kidding.

This particular blog still has a huge following, growing all the time but in all honesty, I think most of those followers just want to be associated with someone who they perceive is "cool".  Me? I just think there are too many well-written posts that I'd rather be reading so yep, I finally reached for  that "Stop Following" button. I mean, seriously, how many times does anyone want to read how "hawt" this blogger thinks they are? Well, if you check out how many followers they have, I guess it's a lot Lol!

Another time I used that dreaded little button was because I've got an "evil streak", well maybe more than just a streak but anyway, getting back to the story,  I had been following this blog, loved the material, found the author witty, smart, intelligent and just plain old entertaining. Posts were published almost every day and like a little puppy, I would read and comment on each and every one.

Well, after two or three months, absolutely nothing. No visit back to my blog, no follow back, no reply to my comments, no nothing. I was being totally ignored but I just kept commenting. Eventually this blogger just had to notice me, right? Wrong! So I  threw the only cyber tantrum I could think of and pressed that "Stop Following" button out of spite. This blogger wouldn't notice my absence with the 300 + followers they had anyway.

So time went by, I kept plugging away at my own blog and then one day about six weeks later, there it was! I opened my email and there in my in basket was a comment from "that" blogger! I was stunned! How did they know who I was? What did the comment say? So I hesitantly opened the email and it was a "Way to go" or something like that but it was from "that" blogger! Hey, I wasn't invisible after all, they were even following me now!!!! I smiled ear to ear!!!! Validation!!!!!!!

Well you know that I just had to go right on over for a visit, I left a glowing comment on "that" blog and repressed the "follow" button.

So in light of all the "Follow Me" mania going around right now, have you ever stopped following a blog and if so, what made You press that dreaded "Stop Following" button?

post signature

105 comments:

Dreamfarm Girl said...

I haven't yet done the stop following thing, but I have stopped following a few of the blogs I signed up for. You're right that sometimes after reading a number of posts that their whole schtick just gets a little old. Your post reminds me of being in school and getting the popular girl to notice you... never ends! : ) (but I'm glad she did; maybe she'll learn a thing or two!)

Caution Flag said...

I stopped following a very popular blog because of its popularity. How's that for logic? I liked the blog very much, but got tired of seeing that blog referenced on everyone else's blog. There are lots of really great reads out there and I don't want to follow just to join the bandwagon.

P.S. Congrats on your weight loss. 11 pounds is a lot :)

BigSis said...

There have been a couple of blogs that I started following because I felt like I should, even though I wasn't crazy about the writing. Once I realized that it was one sided I unfollowed. I doubt they even noticed. What I have learned is that my response to comments is appreciated, so I try to respond to all comments that have emails.

suzicate said...

Wordpress doesn't have a follow button, so I honestly don't know who follows me unless they leave comments regularly. But I do see that the number of comments are relatively low in comparison to the visit stats. I have stopped reading people (deleting them from my favorites) for the same reasons as you.However, if I really like someone's material I continue to read it, maybe just not leaving comments as often. I've also been reading onpost about all of the cyber cliques...I had no idea! I guess I am still quite out of the loop and have lots to learn about blogging.

B Sparkly said...

I’ve only been bloging for a short while. I did click stop follow a few times and it was because I didn’t find anything in comment with the other bloger, we just didn’t click. I notice when you participate in Friday Follow allot of bloger will not return a follow, I’ll keep following them as long as I find their blog interesting to me. But it does sting a bit. I do appreciate every time you stop by my blog and every comment you post for me, you make me smile. Thank you for not being a bloger snob.
Anat

Jennifer said...

Over the past week I've felt overwhelmed with all the follows that I've gotten and the "etiquette" to follow back. I'm a people pleaser -- I want to make everyone happy, so I feel that I have to visit EVERY SINGLE BLOG!

So wrong! If I did that, my kids would starve and I'd never shower.

I have a few that I stick with faithfully because they've been with me since the beginning. There are a bunch of new ones too.

But I've stopped following either because 1) they stopped posting for awhile or 2) there's just too many giveaways, reviews, etc.

I like to read posts about every day mommy lives. I'm so overwhelmed with the freebie, coupon, giveaway blogs that don't interest me at all. So, I stop following.

It's time for me to start weeding out too. Don't worry -- I'll keep following you! LOL!

Dual Mom said...

I've stopped following for the exact reason that you talk about here. I don't expect a response to EVERY comment I make but a response to like 1 in 20 or so would be nice. I don't like being ignored. Selfish? Perhaps.

I generally don't hit the follow button unless I've read a bit of the blog and know that I'll enjoy future stuff.

And your new posts aren't coming up on my reader. I'm about to kick some blogger butt.

Sincerely, Jenni said...

What do you do when someone follows your blog, and you go to check out their blog, and its BORING? Thats one situation I struggle with. I don't have a lot of followers though, so not a huge concern.

My main reason for stopping the follow is because the author starts writing too many reviews or sponsored posts. I don't have the time to read all of that stuff.

Connie K said...

I have stopped a few ! yes iam guilty but when people go for weeks without blogging and no reason (like they need a break i so understand just say taking a break let a girl know !)why or are just really boring ~ugh Blogs i love to follow everyday(family) blogs, food , fashion & life ! I like to mix it up :) Deb, this was a great post thanks for sharing !

GunDiva said...

I recently went through my blog roll and unfollowed exactly three. Two were bloggers who no longer post and the third was the one I struggled with the longest. It was an equi-blog written my a high school senior, in AP everything, school plays, cross country and on top of all of that, he was an eventer. My problem? For being such a "smart kid", he couldn't write. It got so that reading his posts was not only painful, but infuriating. I mean, if this kid is truly the cream of the crop in AP classes, he should know the difference between there/their/they're. It really made me wonder what kind of education those AP kids in California are getting and if he's an AP kid, how bad are the "normal" kids?

I debated and debated, but finally had to unfollow, it wasn't worth the increase in blood pressure every time he posted.

KaLynn said...

I have now gone through my 'follow' blogs and deleted ones that I no longer enjoy, that haven't written in weeks or months, or have never visited me. I had so many blogs to read I couldn't find the ones that I honestly enjoyed! So I culled a lot out a couple of weeks ago.

kyooty said...

I've pressed that button a few times for blogs that no longer post anything, or blogs that no longer post anything that has material that I can identify with. Like I can totally see myself aching for warm weather, or "enjoying" family visits. heheh

Tara said...

My Google Reader thinks unfollow is a joke. There is one blog in particular that was just really boring- nothing but pictures of her baby. I have unfollowed it three times now and it will just randomly pop back up in my reader a week or two later.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

I don't use the Follow feature on Blogger but I add blogs I like to my blogroll and filp through that frequently.

I typically will visit and comment on anyone that comments and vists my blog but if I find that I am the only one visiting and commenting and they never comment on my blog I usually remove them from my blog roll and stop visitng them.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I have. If I don't get visits back, then I stop following. Who likes to be ignored when leaving comments daily? I'm a comment crack whore..duh!! And you stopped following me?? I didn't know I was THAT self absorbed! ;)

Pink Haired Momma said...

I havent used the unfollow button just yet! But i agree some people write blogs just to talk abut how wonderful they are. There are two kinds of blogs i dont like, those where te stores are so full of the writer only with no substance in humor, or fun or infomative info at all. I honestly dont care what you ate for dinner if you are not gonna shar why you are cooking it or how it is cooked, you know? I also do not really enjo review blogs. I get frustrated when mommy bogger goes from tales f her life to just roduct review only. Ithik it is sad, because i really enjoy reading about othr parents and their kiddo aventures!!

I run in to a time problem and get behind on my blog reading and commenting, then i spend a weekend and catch up. I do try and comment a much as i can to other people because I know for me it feels wonderful to know people are listening to what i have to say, even if it is only about my kids diaper.I want to give that feeling of happiness to others!

Wym said...

I agree on all counts. I tend to follow for a while to see if I am interested. I see a lot of blogs. On more than one occasion I have let one go that just didn't jive with me. So far...know one has done it to me...I am so Hawt.

brainella said...

If I find a blog that seems interesting, I'll follow it. I usually will give a blog three to four months to keep my attention going. I'm not afraid of the "Stop Following" button. :-)

I like blogging and find it amazing that people will stop by to see what's going on in my strange little life. I rather hope most people blogging are like that; if not I probably won't stick around.

Life Laugh Latte said...

I did a mass "unfollow" about a month ago. I printed off my follow list and took notice of who never came for a visit. That took 30 blogs off my read list. I had 3 blogs that I love and would follow even if they never came. I kept those. I wonder at some point will I max out and fail to follow others well. I love getting comments and followers like everyone else, but the commitment to read several hundred blogs a week takes some of the joy out of why I started blogging in the first place. I love to create the vlogs and posts. I hope they are meaningful and/or make someone's day a little lighter. But I often feel overwhelmed. I'd like to start a blog-magazine. Know people read what I create because they love it, not because they want something back. Blogging can really become a full time job. I'm rambling now. Yeah...that's how I roll. I think about this stuff everyday...can you tell?! Holly:)

Sarah said...

I think the whole not reciprocating thing is a big one. I mean, we're all short on time. But you could visit, once in a while (not talking about you, of course, but the "you" of blog world in a general way)

Ashley @ KiwisandCocktails said...

A. WHERE IS THE Stop follow button??
I think I need it. I have a lot in my google reader that I just never get to and I dont like having a large number of unread blogs...I get anxious about it! so, easier not to follow the ones I dont read as much.
AND, I comment ALL THE TIME on some blogs that I love to read and the NEVER EVER comment back or Acknowledge my comments. So…I eventually stopped leaving comments…but I still read them because I like the material. I just don’t make them a priority.
When I started blogging, it was not for "strangers" to find me and like me...that has been a part of it I didnt expect. at all! but, It has kinda became part of it, but I try hard NOT to focus on that part!

Jackie said...

This is definitely an issue for me. I don't have tons of followers and that's okay...I'm not really out to get hundreds. If even a few people read and comment it makes me happy. But there are a few that I've commented on several times and I keep reading and they never respond or even visit my blog that I know of and it's frustrating. I haven't hit the "unfollow" button yet though.

Jackie

mama-face said...

If you were considering checking me out today, you might not want to. It's all about me me me. And whining.

I've never pressed that button. Officially. But I have stopped visiting certain places.

honeypiehorse said...

Great post. I also drop people if they ignore me, unless they follow me and then I just ignore them too.

Heather @ Two Little Monkeys said...

I have used the stop follow before, If they haven't posted anything for months then I stop. If I get a new follower, I will follow back.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Yeah, don't have that button, so I never really know if people never comment. I have taken blogs off my reader when, months later, likeyou said, I never got a comment back. Of course, if I enjoy their writing, I usually still read it.
I'm blogging less, so I'm getting pickier about who I want to read. And just not even thinking about my own stats.

Rabbit said...

I am the Quing of Stop Following. I went through and recently cleaned house and got rid of a TON of the Cliquey Queens that never respond to anyone outside their little circle. Who needs that. I can be invisible somewhere else (though I know THAT's hard to believe). Mine is pared down now to people I actually interact and engage with on a (somewhat) regular basis. My method? Turd ladies had to go, first of all. Secondly, if I didn't recognize the blog's moniker right off, it was gone, too. And third to get the axe is the blogger's name. If I couldn't recall the person's (first) name (or nickname) - or something personal about them, they went bye-bye. It's creating a much for enjoyable blogging experience.

Michele said...

Oh, I have used that button as well, for many different reasons.

I think it's just like life, some people we like, others we dont.

The most memorable one was a blogger who actually posted, and I quote,
"I'm sick and tired of having to reply to all these comments and stupid questions about my disease. I'll explain it again, for those of you who are too effin' lazy to look it up yourselves."

I hit that unfollow button fast than you can say, Asshat!!! LOL

The Mommyologist said...

I haven't stopped following any blogs yet, but I have unfollowed a couple people on Twitter because their tweets drove me up a WALL!!!

Matty said...

This is quite a lively topic you posted about. Based not only on the number of responses you're getting, but the in-depth content of their replies seems to have hit a chord with everyone.

It seems that everyone has a slightly different view on following and commenting etiquette. And I'm no different.

Here is how I roll. I always reply to comments. I do it in email simply by hitting the "reply" button and find this to be the simple way of responding. I make every effort to leave a comment on every post of every blog I follow.... yeah, it's a mountain of work but I try. And I admit that because of time constraints and responsibilities that I don't always comment on everything. But I try.

And yes, I have unfollowed a few people. Either I just can't make any connection with them whatsoever, or they don't know I exist. I've followed a number of blogs I find interesting and routinely leave comments, but I never hear back from them, and they never visit me.

As a guy, I'm always on the lookout for other men who blog and who's site I find interesting. I was hearing about one guy who was just all the rave around town. I checked him out and decided to follow. I've been following him for about 5 months now. I loyally left comments on every one of his posts. He does not acknowledge my comments, does not follow me, and has never once visited my blog. And yet all his lady followers think he's the cat's meow. Although I am still a follower and read his blog, I have stopped leaving comments, and am thinking about unfollowing him.

Now here's the caveat to following someone back. What do you do when you have a new follower and when you go check out their blog, there is absolutely nothing about it that interests you? You just don't connect with it at all. Now what? I struggle with that because I want to return the favor, but quite honestly, for example, I have no interest in reading about quilting and that's all they write about. So now what do I do? How do you handle that Deb? But.....I return the favor and follow them, but I might not comment as often on their blog as I might on others.

Anyways, you've brought up a good point, and it certainly produced quite the response.

Secretia said...

It hasn't happened to me yet.

Merri Ann said...

I'm a new blogger and I didn't know you weren't supposed to unfollow ... but I'm not bowing to the pressure ... if I don't like someone's blog I kick them to the curb ... no regrets. I did some house cleaning at the beginning of the year ... one blog continues to follow me and I haven't been to her blog since October.

I also didn't know that I should be responding to comments on my blog. I try to leave comments on their blogs but I have not responded to comments unless someone is asking a direct question.

I'm only following blogs I look forward to reading ... I did a post about this as my first post of the year ... the people that are on my blogroll are people I enjoy reading and I wish they would post more often ...

Great post ... I enjoyed reading it AND all the responses

CalgaryDaddy said...

Good Post. I hope we are still friends, lol! :)

Shane
www.calgarydaddy.com

Samantha said...

I've come across a few bloggers like the one mentioned first. I have got to set some time aside and go through all of the people I "follow" and unfollow them. There are a lot of people that I just don't have any interest in reading their blogs, they don't ever comment back on my stuff, or they have a pretty big ego.

The problem with a lot of bloggers is when they start getting a lot of followers, they forget about the people who helped them get there. Who were there from the start.

adrienzgirl said...

I have hit that unfollow button on numerous occasions. For various reasons. Often when visiting blogs at first glance and I find the blogger humorous, interesting, introspective and well written. After following for a bit I find that the blogger isn't at all, what my first impression might have been. I have nothing in common with them and they offer no real substance or reason to visit. I have so many blogs that I read there is no reason to keep following those that I am not at all interested in.

I don't expect bloggers to follow me just because I find them entertaining. Nor do I expect them to follow me because I follow them. It would be nice if they acknowledge my daily comments but I know some bloggers just don't do that.

I guess I feel that way because I follow many blogs whose authors might find my language and content offensive. However, I enjoy their writing, their content and read them daily.

Anita said...

Ooooo...After reading some of the comments the others have left, I think I'm in trouble. :)
I follow because I want to have a particular person/blog in my "address book" because they've had some sort of appeal to me. That way, I can look them up once in a while and say hello via reading their blog and commenting.
Just don't have the time to read and comment everyday.
So far, I haven't unfollowed anyone and it appears that no one has unfollowed me. But, I would do so if their content was like the first person you mentioned.
Good post - it's really added to my search/learning of the proper blogging etiquette. :)

Trish said...

You sparked a big interest here. Yes, Ive stopped following a few because they no longer post and they are blogs that I always looked forward to reading too! Other times is because I can no longer relate to their topics, they have changed!

I love follow friday and stuff but Ill be honest, I follow back people whos content I like. Im not a follow me and Ill follow you...follow me if you like me and Ill do the same!

Great post!

Danielle said...

I agree that when you comment on people and they never return the favor, I get a little flustered and have been known to unfollow. I hit the button once on a fellow that lives in a different country and dissed 9/11 on his blog. Told us Americans to basically get over it. That was it for me with him.
I also hit the button once on a younger guy that kept making rude comments about middle aged women. Hey man, I am one. Delete!

Helene said...

I've only stopped following just one blogger in particular...I loved her sense of humor and sarcasm but she wrote an offensive post one time and it didn't sit right with me. I'm not sure she even noticed I stopped commenting because she very rarely visited my blog, anyway.

No huge loss, obviously, on her part or mine.

Kitty Moore said...

I haven't stopped following anyone but noticed that I had lost a follower recently - I'm really worried that I inadvertantly offended someone!

Kitty x

Nezzy said...

Nope, this chick hasn't pushed that button but I'm relative new to the game.

Have a beautiful day, sweetie!!!

Kathryn said...

I've got to tell you...the whole time I'm reading, I'm thinking, "She's not talking about ME, right?"...even though that is a totally self-absorbed thing to think and I've never referred to myself as "hawt".
BUT.
It DOES show how deep blogger-insecurity can run. I totally agree that if you comment regularly at someone's place, they should have the decency to respond to you...somewhere. I feel that's part of the responsibility to having readers...they deserve the same consideration that they give to you.

raquel roysdon said...

Love the stop following button, where do I get it?

The Garden Bell said...

Thanks for popping by the garden. Yes, I totally get the whole blog thing. I had to actually figure out how to delete a nasty comment the other day. Some one didn't get my humor and read me the riot act. My opinion if you don't get me, just take your weeds and leave my garden. Most understand the garden bell by now. This person truly must not be near meno. or they would have gotten my over 50 humor. So, yes, I'm finding that "Stop Following" button now to.

But, you are on the keeper list.

Kate - TGB - <3 <3 <3

The Garden Bell said...

Thanks for popping by the garden. Yes, I totally get the whole blog thing. I had to actually figure out how to delete a nasty comment the other day. Some one didn't get my humor and read me the riot act. My opinion if you don't get me, just take your weeds and leave my garden. Most understand the garden bell by now. This person truly must not be near meno. or they would have gotten my over 50 humor. So, yes, I'm finding that "Stop Following" button now to.

But, you are on the keeper list.

Kate - TGB - <3 <3 <3

ModernMom said...

Good grief look at the firestorm you started:) I just love this post and read every single comment.
I've hit the unfollow a couple of times. A couple of blogs lost my love because they hadn't posted in a few months. Figured they were done. Another..her topics just got too umm naked for me. No really I saw too much of her. That's not for me.
Right now I feel totally overwhelmed by my blog roll. I truly love every follower and do my best to spread the comment love, there are just not enough hours in the day. Not if I want to continue to have a happy Hubby and kids:) LOL

Melissa said...

I have hit the stop following button on a few. Some of those were in support of a fellow blogger that I adore and the others were not so nice. So no nicey, no Melissa! LOL...I'm sure I'm not missed, and if I am...to bad!
The one other I stopped following was because they hadn't posted in 3 months.

Stesha said...

My blog is hosted with wordpress, so I don't know who's following me. Honestly I like it that way, so I won't get too stressed about these types of things.

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Jen said...

I've never hit the stop following button, I don't use the widget much so it never occurred to me to do so.

However, as I was reading your post I really wanted to go and see if anyone had stopped following me lately.

Respectfully Yours said...

I haven't pressed stop following but I have skipped reading some posts. Same thing, you follow, comment, follow, comment and nothin. I even tried to engage the blogger. No response. They also have a ton of followers so I assume I am a little link in their rather long chain. Oh well, I just surround myself with friendly bloggers instead. Hey, like you.

Daffy said...

Ummm....okay...so which was was me? Because we all know this Duck thinks her quack is whack....

Just kidding...

Yes, I often clean out the clutter so to speak. If i find that I haven't visited a blog in a long time or continually pass over the posts then when I get into a cleaning mode I will unfollow. Sometimes I go back later and re follow. I wish I had time to follow every blog that follows mine in addition to the ones I really like that don't know or care if I exist. I don't. It's just not possible. I really appreciate all those that follow me and enjoy my posts. I try to reply to each and every comment via email - provided their profile is activated - so that even if I don't follow their blog or make it by on a regular basis they know I value the comment and the time they've spent at my pond.

Theta Mom said...

Awesome discussion - I have unfollowed when I was having google issues, thinking I was following too many - so no rhyme or reason to really "choose" who to unfollow or not. I still had google drama up until recently.

I find that if you comment and comment on a blog without anything in return- an email, tweet, another comment - something - then this is discouraging and unless it is compelling content, I won't visit as often.

Bev G said...

Ok, so you really hit the comment jackpot with this one. Obviously I have no clue what blogging is about because I've never even thought about following someone just because they follow me. I blog because I like to. If someone visits and leaves a comment on my blog, I always reply and I often check out their blogs - lots of times they're interesting to me, occasionally they're not. I'd have no problem hitting the stop following button - well except on your blog...lol

Janie B said...

You really hit on a hot issue this time. So many comments...I didn't want to be left out. I feel bad now because I don't usually reply to comments (a few times I have), but I didn't mean to be neglectful. I don't go back to check and see if my comments are responded to, so I didn't think it was important, I guess. I'll have to rethink that. Also, I have stopped following a few that quit posting for months at a time. And, I'm thinking of stopping one that is too constantly depressing (poor me syndrome). Maybe I should be a better friend, but honestly, I have enough problems of my own. Ha!

Traci said...

I have never officially unfollowed but I have so many blogs in my reader that if I don't want a divorce and a home visit from CPS for neglect (we won't mention the wiggly insomniac three year old in my arms as we speak). I can't visit everyone every day like I used too. I try to always visit back those who drop by my blog and I just recently started sending email responses (I was four months in before I figured out that Blogger could email me my comments) but sometimes it is longer than I would like between visits. Truthfully, I often make sure that I get back to the "smaller" blogs first because I know how much comments mean when you only get 3 or 4. So I guess that was a very long answer to no, I haven't unfollowed!
:-)
Traci

Buckeroomama said...

Wowza! Touchy topic. :) It was as interesting reading through all the comments as reading through your original post.

About covering everybody on my blog roll... While there are a number that I visit regularly, I don't read each and every one on my blog roll every day. If a post interests me, I'd click on and would usually leave a comment; otherwise, I pass for the time being. :)

ethelmaepotter! said...

Wow. That took guts. I never have, but I've considered it, for virtually the same reasons.
Interesting topic; interesting reactions. Great read!

Posh Totty said...

I have not yet stopped following any blog, but after reading this, you made hitting that "stop following" button so fun, I want to give it a try. But as yet I don't know who or why, but I am sure I will find reason in the coming weeks mwahhaha!!

Susan said...

Wow, what a great post! Popped over here from another blog just because of your blog title...finally I thought another woman around my age...I feel so old in blogland...I'm 42 with two kids 16 & 10 and I feel like I've been going through menopause for a few years... I'll save all that info for another comment... back to your post...I do not have a lot of followers and always wonder how these ladies get such a huge following...I recently did a give a way and received a few more followers from that but then noticed after the give a way a few stopped following me... I was so bummed...I just assumed that I wasn't interesting enough for them ... oh well..

Just recently I stopped following a few blogs solely because all they did was post pictures of themselves and their "stuff" ... granted I don't always have the most interesting posts but I do try ... I'm still a little new to all of this.. for me the blogging is just a way to communicate with other ladies about everything...like having a cup of coffee with a friend:)
Glad I stopped by today!

~J said...

First of all, I just found your blog today and LOOOVE it! With that being said...

I actually just hit the "stop following" button for the first time the other day. This particular blogger was SOOO hateful with her 'opinions' and made terrible judgments on people and their children...So I told her my 'opinion' and bowed out with the last word! :)

Six Feet Under Blog said...

I guess I never thought about that. I dont think Ive ever unfollowed anyone. Hmmm, dont we all talk about ourselves on our blogs? lol Ok, now I feel bad when I haven't been to old buddies' blogs for awhile! I'm going to go dig them up today. :)

Annie said...

I have only hit the unfollow button a few times. If a blogger doesn't do a single thing to aknowledge that I exist (a reply to my comment, commenting on my blog) then it just isn't worth my time. I mean that is just like I am talking to myself....and that is not fun at all. The only thing that would keep me on a blog like that would be amazing content. I can understand being too busy to respond right away, but this blogger never responded in any way after a couple months of my faithful comments.

There is another blog I am about to unfollow. We used to comment on each other blogs all the time. She had my button and I had hers. Then she moved me to her text based blog roll. Now I am off completely and she hasn't commented in over a month. I have commented on her blog a ton and kept her button up. It just feels like her blog grew so much that she forgot her original friend.

Great post (as usual!) I might take this topic, link back to you, and write a post about almost the same thing.

Erin said...

I can totally relate to this. I have only recently unfollowed a few people (not many at all). They were ones that never commented on/visited me back, and one was someone who wronged another close bloggy friend of mine.

Those big/popular blogs---there are some that are really worth the time and are not all egocentric. But I definitely see the ones that are and it's rather amusing. Maybe one day they'll look back with regret.

Me, I do think my blog is egocentric. But aren't we all, to a certain extent? I am learning to reach more outward and it's not easy. I worry people will tire of reading about my stuff/crap/etc....

Kimberly said...

Yes! I have hit unfollow. I comment to anyone that comments to me. I follow and hope for a someone to follow back. If I comment and comment, and they never comment I unfollow. I only have so much time. I don't follow some of those "super big" blogs. I just don't understand what all the hype is all about.

I wrote about this on my blog, and I had some people unfollow me. I think I lost 10 people that week.

Susan said...

I have to admit I am feeling a lot of pressure now that I have read your post and commented earlier... I see that you popped over to visit my blog, commented AND you are now following me... I hope I am interesting enough so you don't have to use the "Stop Following" button!

Thanks for visiting:))

Juliana said...

Deb~I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you posted this. I really REALLY am. I have had this blog--well the jist in my head for about a week now, constantly hammering at me and just had no idea how to write it. Then today while making lunch I thought that I HAD to post it but I did not want to upset anyone, but everyone would know who I was talking about. I hate when people follow just to follow and to add a number. I personally try SOOOOO hard to get back to as many people as possible and it si a lot of work. I am really grateful that so many people may give a toot about what I have to say--but really I started blogging to meet people and I try to freaking best to write back to as many as possible..

BUT---there is this blogger. I have commented on her page almost every flipping time (can you tell I am uspet) for almost 3 years. Never one-not ever has she emailed me has she commented. This blogger is really full of herself and her blog. I wonder--WHY do I comment, why do we feel obligated to comment, we should NOT. We have no obligation and honestly if someone follows us we have NO duty no loyalty to follow them.

I realy would like to know where that unfollow button is...really I would. I have looked for it and cannot find it...

GREAT post.

gayle said...

Great post Deb!! I have used the unfollow for the same reasons you do!! I like to repy to comments via email but for some reason with this Windows 7... I can't. My husband and I worked on it again last night and think we might have figured it out. We may have to install Office or something.

I try my best to comment as much as possible but as you can see...I am so behind!!

3LittleMonkeys said...

Yes, I've totally done that. Mostly if I read their blog, comment, and they don't comment back! That's like the blog golden rule right?
I think I know what self absorbed blog you are talking about. I may have to "stop following" that one myself!

Gropius said...

It takes me a while to build up enough trust that I like the content to put someone in my Google reader. I first want to make sure I generally find what they have to say interesting, and then, I love to see if they come back for a visit. It's not required every day, but when there's zero reciprocity, it's like an arrogant monologue.

Jacqui said...

great post, im trying to get followers but this is so dam hard :( lol

hope all is well

jacqui

Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short) said...

Mmmmmm... an interesting post that has created quite a stir! The whole following/stop following thing is something I try really hard not to get too caught up in. Although, last week for the first time I participated in that Follow Friday meme (or is it Friday Follow?). I did get a bunch of new followers, but I kind of felt like I was cheating in some way.

The only time I stop following someone is if they've stopped posting. I used to try and comment back on EVERYONE that commented EVERYDAY, but I was spending W A A A Y too much time on the computer. I was getting a bit obsessive over it. (Never a good thing.) I had to check myself into bloghopping rehab!

Kat said...

I have never stopped following but I'm only in the building stages of my blog. I am afraid, however, because I get busy with school that I will be unfollowed for not going to people's blogs, so I am reading like crazy tonight! :)

MaryRC said...

I've done it mostly on the spammer followers. But I with you on the reciprocate and its all about me'ers. ya, guilty, ive stopped following a few.

MaryRC said...

I've done it mostly on the spammer followers. But I with you on the reciprocate and its all about me'ers. ya, guilty, ive stopped following a few.

Tammy said...

I didn't even know you could stop following someone. I know in the beginning it is so easy to keep up with everyone you follow...then you get so many and it's harder and harder to get around. I have made some great friends...Deb, you are one of them...and I love visiting and hearing from them. I always respond via email if someone comments to me...one of my top priorities!

Homesick Cajun said...

Being fairly new to blogger I didn't know what to expcet out of everyone. I have tried to make a point of replying to every single comment I've gotten, yet some of the blogs I read and comment on...they never comment back.

I guess I have no right to expect them to but it would be nice.

Arizona Mamma said...

Feeling like I could have written this myself. I think it all the time. In fact, I am fairly certain I am following the narcissistic blogger you mentioned. I was never impressed, but I guess I felt like maybe one day she'd post something worth a shit. Not so far. So I am off to follow your lead, and UN FOLLOW! Does that make me a lemming?

Holly said...

I am coming back to read all of this when it is not midnight. I do do the Friday Follow thing...and I was totally skeptical...but I have found many new GREAT followers because of it and a ton of fantastic blogs (too bad not everyone gets that it is a reciprocal thing).

I have unfollowed a number of blogs recently either because they unfollowed me (oh yeah...you don't think I know) or because of reason you stated. Some blogs never give you the time of day but their content is good so I will not unfollow but also not take the time to comment. Some blogs just think they are too big for their britches. I try to email or comment back on every person who visits me. If they just follow, I do not follow back until they comment.

OK, I am just a rambling mess. Great discussion.

Holly said...

I should add that I do follow some blogs that I probably would not otherwise, but they follow me, they comment, they are nice, so I will follow. Following as a reciprocal thing is no skin off my back. That said. I comment back to everyone who comments on my posts before I even get to my reader. And I am behind, but generally try to catch up before I post again (Not happening this week though!).

See what you did...you opened up my can of worms!

Sam said...

Hey, I'm a new follower from Follow Friday... and I'll most DEFINITELY be linking to this in one of my upcoming posts, because I've been mulling this topic over myself for quite some time now. Great post!

I feel the same way. It's almost like getting rejected when trying to befriend the popular kids at school, you know? I'd leave comments all the time, because I really did have something to add, but would never receive anything back. And I can understand if you have 43592730987 followers and you can't always respond to all of them.. But this person has maybe 115, and even then, it's not like their posts are weighed down with so many comments that they're just unable to sift through them all to give responses.. We're talking like, 4-6, *10* at the most. So I'm sitting here feeling insecure that I continue to go out of my way to be nice, and receive nothing in return. And yeah, I get that it's your blog, you don't have to follow anyone you don't particularly want to read about, but you could at least extend the courtesy of responding to a comment. It's like a thank you card.. you don't have to necessarily be over the moon about the gift, but you should still thank the person because it's the nice thing to do.

Sure, I don't have THAT many followers, so I can't exactly speak for the people that have upwards of 300.. But regardless of how many I may ever have, I know I'll be grateful for every damn one (I like getting feedback, lol), and will make an effort to respond to as many as possible (especially now that I know about that nifty little "Reply" option with the email.. never saw that before.. whoops).

And I know that, unfortunately a lot of people just like to up their number of followers, but at the same time.. if you want to keep your followers (unlike a certain blogger that you'd think blogs Gospel over there the way people mention him/her) you've got to show them a little love, you know? Give a little to get a little. ;)

Anyways, this is such an awesome post -- thanks! And happy Friday! :)

Jules said...

I have hit the dreaded button a few times. Most of the time the person has just "quit blogging." Not a new post since last summer.....I think they gave up on their blog. That's the main reason I have Unfollowed someone.

Mom et al said...

Hi, I'm your newest Friday Follower!


Come visit me at mom-et-al.com


-Maria

Kati said...

I actually hit the "unfollow" button alot. In all honesty.. I go through my reader every couple of months.. and if I don't recognize the blog title.. and can't make a mental image of your homepage... chances are you either do not post very often or I just don't really read as much as I thought I would.

And I know people do the same with my blog.. and it is definitely disheartening to lose followers, but gaining 5 is even better. I always do my best to keep people interested, but I also try to stay true to what the blog was originally for.. and that is talking about ME and my family.. hehe.. mostly the kiddos!

joeandbridge said...

Hi There! Stopping by from Friday Follow. Hope you can come visit me!

Bridgette Groschen
The Groschen Goblins
http://www.groschengoblins.blogspot.com/

joeandbridge said...

Hi There! Stopping by from Friday Follow. Hope you can come visit me!

Bridgette Groschen
The Groschen Goblins
http://www.groschengoblins.blogspot.com/

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip said...

I have used the stop following button because something said in a particular blog I found offensive. I think it is important to follow our instincts. Blogging is supposed to be fun right? Not a chore. I don't follow blogs that feel like a chore anymore. Great post!

Jen said...

I've stopped following some blogs, mainly because I only followed them because they followed me. Not that 'following' equals 'reading', but there is only so much time in the day and only so many blogs one person can read, let alone comment on.

I do try to either visit commentor's blogs or reply to emails - but sometimes that just doesn't happen. Not for lack of wanting to, but again, time. Anyway. Good post!

Mae Rae said...

Wow, comment 88 or something like that. I myself have recently unfollowed a few blogs myself. I got to the point where there was so much negativity and bashing that it was not necessary. I love to blog. The whole reason I started blogging was to have an outlet to tell my stories without my family getting pissed at me. I read some blogs because they were fun and entertaining but yes got very tired of the me me me...and never a comment back. I have recently unfollowed about 8 blogs because of the freaky ways they do things and the allaboutmeishness.

You however I still follow and love your blog@!

Murdock's mama said...

WOW! I found your blog through Sam's comment & agree with her...this post is great! I find myself thinking the same things! I try my best to follow everyone back, comment on their posts, & reply to their comments. I just came to the conclusion that not everyone blogs for the same reason. While I LOVE to have followers & get comments maybe others do not care about it as much. Nevertheless...great post and I'm your newest follower! :)

Have a great weekend!
Abby

www.murdocksmama.blogspot.com

Mammatalk said...

So, that's where ya went? LOL!!

Debbie said...

You struck a cord here! WOW I have been blogging for only about two months...of course I wanted to be in the in crowd...however I quickly learned that miss manners is not always the case in blogging land! I always I mean always reciprocate a comment on my blog. I stopped going back, as I do not need to be in with the in crowd. I joined this blog hop to find like minded people....WOW I found one in you and some other today and am so happy! I have engaged my readers and included them in open forum topics, their personal life, etc, etc....I have two favorites right now...Juliana up there is one of them, what a sweet heart she is, and so not self consumed! I am learning from that little young chicaddie! Anyhow, I am following you now, from follow friday, so there, and I will be back! Thanks for this awesome post!

Corrie Howe said...

I've stopped following for a number of reasons. Mostly is that I follow way too many even today I have 1000+ blogs in my reader.

So I'm trying to figure out the balance. There are very few blogs I follow that I don't comment upon. So It's not like I can follow and not comment. (I do just follow a couple of autism blogs or social networking blogs that wouldn't know me from Adam.)

Venom said...

I would like to comment more often but I am often stymied by my own ineptitude or things beyond what I can control @ any given time.

For instance, I've been TRYing to leave a comment here on this topic since Weds... Farmer dial-up is notoriously SLOW!! High speed in my rural area is very spendy though.

I do unfollow when a blogger doesn't blog for an extended period of time & leaves no indication whether she/he has stopped or is just taking a break.

I don't feel obligated to continue following if the blog content really doesn't interest me as consistently as I'd originally hoped. Sometimes people are great writers, or sometimes it's their personality that keeps me coming back.


Anyways, I AM reading you MenoMom!
XXOXX

kim said...

Oh, I love your blog. Wow, a baby at 45 and menopause. I feel for you. I am 54 and been dealing with perimenopause for years now. I hope this is my last and final year. I haven't been blogging long, but I have already removed a couple of blogs from my roll for the same reason. I comment to everyone of their posts and nothing back. I do not have to waste my time. When I join their linky party and get nothing and people are going to their blog from my blog hey I just take them off my blog roll. Good riddens! I am going to follow you now, I am one of the faceless fools since my photo will not upload to that.

Debbie said...

Now I know why I did the post I did today....please come visit my front porch post when you get a moment:):) It must have been in my subconscious mind!

NYCGAL said...

Love this post Deb! I agree with you 100%. I follow blogs that I find that have meaning to them also. I blog to express myself and wish that I had more time to do so. I have deleted a couple for the same reasons, something that I would call "no substance". I enjoy reading what people are doing, recipes, new shopping finds and what you have been through. I wish I had a huge following but like my little close-nit group.
xo

Simply Suthern said...

I like to follow a few folks because I like how they write. I dont know how some folk keep up with their list. Alot of times I just add to favorites so they dont have to feel obligated. I dont really expect to be followed because I really dont write that well.

happygal said...

I don't think I have ever actually hit the button...but I have definitely had that experience. The "why am I following you and interacting, or halfway interacting, with you and you could not care less."

So I just physically stop following. I don't bother with the button :)

happygal said...

Now of course the big question is...did she recognize herself in your post and is she still a follower?

Kristin said...

You are too cute. I know for us it's sometimes hard to comment back to people the same or even in the next couple of days, but we always try to return the comment eventually. Glad to hear your persistence paid off. I totes keep commenting on a famous blogger's blog in the hopes that someday she'll notice us. Ah ha ha

Lisa said...

Looks like you hit on a big one with this post! Hmm, I don't follow a lot of blogs, but I have noticed a disturbing trend among many I used to enjoy. The more famous they become, the less I find myself drawn to the words. It seems to change how they write or what they write about somehow.

June said...

Cleaning house on my blog every now and then feels good... less on my blog plate is always more.
When I started blogging it was for the "fun" of it and I don't want to spoil it by feeling it is a chore or burden.

By MelCole of PA said...

Tag, you're it! Nice blog you got!

Patricia said...

Sam sent me over and I am so glad I did stop by!

I stopped following a few blogs and one for the EXACT reason you did ...

Have a great weekend
Patricia

Heather said...

I have used the stop following button. When I first started I pretty much started following nearly every blog I ran across. Some of those bloggers never acknowledge my exsistance. I started to feel like an intruder. I think I have used it about 6 times.