Getting the Kinks Out in High Heels!

What a relief to be over my cold and back to yoga class.  I have already signed up for the next 8-week term even though I'm only half way through my first 8-week session.

So now with that out of the way,  it's time to fess up and talk about my weight.

Yes, the yoga is great for flexibility and posture but I don't know anyone who has been able to lose their motor gut by practicing yoga. If I was serious about getting rid of a few pounds, I would be out running marathons trying to stay one step ahead of my butt.

But I don't own any sneakers or flat shoes for that matter. One thing you learn when you are a few pounds overweight is that the more height you can gain from heels, the more balanced YOU think you look. Truth be known, people are probably wondering why a stay-at-home mom is wearing high heels around the house and out in the yard.

So now with the cooler weather here, I just might go out and do a bit of walking, maybe even a power walk. If it gets cold enough, I just might work my way up to a slow trot.

Time to jump back up on the healthy lifestyle bandwagon, heels and all!

Who Needed That Break?

Hurray!  After weeks of sick days, field trips and an Inservice, I finally had my 2 1/2 hour break today from my 3 1/2 year old.  Waited patiently all morning watching the clock slowly tic down to 12:30 so I could bundle her up and drop her off at her Early Learning School.  I had time to run a few errands, just hang around the house by myself, read some great blogs and even made time for a little shopping. Love having a couple of hours to myself!

Funny thing is, when I dropped her off and turned to leave, I could feel her little hands on my behind as she struggled to push me out the door.  All I could hear was "Bye Bye Mommy".  Guess I wasn't the only one looking forward to a break!

Early Learning School and Free Time?

If you've been following along, you know that for the past 3 years, I have been a stay-at-home mom who has hardly left my daughter's side. From those first 7 months of being on call to breast feed at the drop of a hat to the end of last August, I can count on one hand the number of times I have been away from her for more than an hour.

So last month, she started an Early Learning Program that gets her out of the house for 2 1/2 hours each Tuesday and Thursday. Bliss! I can finally get some time to myself, uninterrupted, no one under my feet or demanding my attention.

Unfortunately, by the end of her third week in school, both of us had come down with a cold. Not wanting to spread it to others, I decided that she had to miss school for both days during the first week of October. Oh well, I'm too sick to enjoy the time off anyway although it would be so nice to just curl up for a couple of hours and take a nap.

Finally, this past Tuesday she was feeling better and so was I. I waited patiently for the clock to tick down so I could drop her off and run the errands that had piled up from the week before.

We arrive at the school a little early where we are greeted by one of her teachers. As I turn to run out the door, she asks "Did you forget that today we are taking the children for a hike in the park, you will be coming with us won't you?" As much as I wanted to shake her by the shoulders and plead with her to please take my daughter off my hands for just a couple of hours, I hear myself saying "Oh, that will be fun, does anyone need a drive?"

As my daughter and I are leaving the park after the hike, one of the teacher's calls out to me, "Don't forget, there is no school this Thursday, we have an Inservice". I want to scream out "What?? Are you kidding?? What about my chores, errands and FREE TIME!!!" But instead, I paste a fake smile on my face and wave good bye as I realize that Thursday is now out too. Back at our truck I stop and talk to one of the other mothers. But as I get ready to climb into the driver's seat, she says "I'll see you next Thursday, the kids are scheduled to go to the library, we can hang out there together while we wait for them". "What?? I only get one day next week!!!????"

Two weeks late but I finally have my wicker furniture stored away and my frost-bitten Summer flowers are in the compost bin. After working in the dark for the last two nights, my Fall decorations are finlly set up on the front porch. Last night I took that 15 minutes to run up to the attic and find my Autumn wreath. With it finally hanging in place over the window above the pumpkins and gourds, I breath a sigh of relief. Done!

And that's when it hits me.

"When am I going to find the time to put up the Halloween decorations???!!!!"

Debating the Power of "NO"

Anyone who has raised a child has heard the word "No" what seems like a million times. It's the first word that many of our children learn, some without actually making the connection to its meaning until they get a negative reaction from their parent or caregiver.

My own daughter's first word was "Dog" not "Mommy" like I had hoped with "No" a close second or third. One benefit of being an older mom though is the maturity and patience that comes along with age. When she started to say "No" and mean it, I was able to stand back and observe this little creature exerting her will. "How cute" I thought, "She is developing a personality!" It wasn't long though before she started to use the "No" word every time I tried to do anything with her. Getting her dressed became a chore, getting her coat on, putting on her shoes or boots, combing her hair, getting her into the bath, all day long was a symphony of me asking a question and her replying "No". I didn't lose my cool with her, I didn't force my will upon her, I started to use "timeouts".

We have a bench in our kitchen where I would make her sit and then set the microwave timer for 2 or 3 minutes. I had heard somewhere, probably on Dr. Phil, that a timeout period should include 1 minute for every year of age. So that's what I did. To my amazement she would sit there quietly while I went on with my day tidying up near by. During the timeout, I would not have eye contact with her but once that timer rang, I would run over, make a big deal out of what a good girl she had been to sit there and overly praise her for 15 or 20 seconds. She loved this and it worked! Whatever challenge had lead to the timeout was easily accomplished and we got on with our day.

I hadn't given much thought to this until my brother-in-law came to visit. Of course, like all opinionated family members who think they know it all, he had not raised any children of his own.

He was sitting at our kitchen table having his morning coffee when my daughter went into one of her "No" fits and wouldn't cooperate while I tied to get her dressed. As much as I hate to discipline her in front of others, I scooped her up and placed her on the timeout bench, told her not to move and then set the timer for 3 minutes. I then went about my business as usual. It wasn't long before I noticed my brother-in-law's face. We've all seen those disapproving looks, maybe some of us have even given them to others. In an effort to clear the air, I ask him what's on his mind. "Nothing" he lies so I tell him "Just get it off your chest, say your piece and be done with it, I've probably heard it before anyway."

As I expect, he tells me that he doesn't like how often she tells me "No" and wants to know why I put up with it. This entire time, my daughter is sitting quietly in her timeout waiting for that timer to ring and for the over-the-top praise she knows she will receive. On cue, the timer rings and I spring into action. I pick her up, tell her how good she was, we twirl around in the kitchen, laughing, hugging, I kiss her and praise her. When I look over at my brother-in-law, I can see from his expression that he doesn't approve. From the kitchen, my daughter and I move into the family room where I easily dress her, comb her hair and have her properly groomed for the day ahead. This has taken less than the three minute timeout with her full and enthusiastic cooperation.

With her playing quietly nearby, I walk back over to the kitchen. My brother-in-law gives me that disapproving look again. "Well?" I ask. "I don't understand why you let her tell you no, why don't you just make her get dressed?" he asks again. To this I respond "Look over at her playing, she is completely dressed, her hair is combed and neatly tied back, there have been no tears, no tantrums, no fighting, no hitting and she is content. What result do you think your method would have produced?" After pondering my point for a minute he says "Okay, but why do you allow her to say "no" to you so often?"

My response to him is still just a theory given that she is only 3 1/2. I haven't read any books on the subject, I haven't had the time! My belief is that as long as I don't react to her use of the word "No", neither she nor that word holds any power. Once I allow it to push my buttons, she has a weapon she can use and will continue to use time and time again. For now, I go about my day, ignoring the "No" word and using timeouts when she becomes uncooperative about doing the things that need to get done. So far, this has worked and I find I am hearing the "No" word less and less often, somedays not at all.

My brother-in-law sips his coffee, shakes his head and reluctantly agrees with my theory but then again, what else can he do? My house, my rules, my daughter Lol!

Messes, Mayhem and The Best Advice!

As anyone would expect, being a first-time mom later in life has its rewards but also its challenges. Years of living in a neat and tidy controlled environment give way to diapers, spills, spit up, messes and constant mayhem.

When my little one was born, I remember stressing myself out trying to keep our home in the same perfectly neat state it had always been in while taking on the full-time job of caring for a new baby around the clock. All the chaos that erupts from the minute you bring a baby home from the hospital until they finally fall into bed asleep filled our home. I was running around in circles but I just couldn't keep up. The dishes would pile up in the sink, dust would accumulate on the furniture in the rooms that we didn't use and the beds would go unmade for days.

One day a couple of months after my daughter was born, I was talking to my good friend, Karen on the telephone. I had worked with Karen for years in a well-organized office environment but she had been the first to give that up to stay at home and raise her three little ones. We had remained close so I knew she would be able to relate to the upheaval and chaos that now controlled my life.

I was complaining to her about how stressed I felt with all the housework that was no longer getting done. Instead of giving me the answer I thought I was looking for she laughed out loud and told me that she had felt exactly the same way, at first. Then she passed on to me her "light-bulb moment" and it literally changed my life.

"I gave up trying to keep a perfect house long ago. When my children grow up, I want them to remember all of the fun we had and the things we did together, not how clean I kept the house."

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. Of course! How ridiculous of me to be so focused on my kitchen floor, my unmade bed or any other chore that was lagging behind. Why wasn't I taking the time to relax and enjoy these precious moments with my new baby, feeding her and just holding her? That day I vowed to make my daughter my priority and relax about my house. Karen's words had taken a huge weight off my shoulders and helped me to focus on what was important and what could wait.

Nothing drove that point home more than a year later when my husband's daughter had her second baby. We booked our flights and traveled the 5 hours to visit with her and meet our new granddaughter. At that time, our own daughter was only one and at that age of constant spills and messes.

We stayed at my step-daughter's home and I will never forget how uncomfortable I felt being chased around by her vacuum every time I made a meal or snack for my daughter. I didn't feel that I could sit down to feed her until I had wiped up every last crumb that fell during the food preparation, had stored away any utensils and dishes used into the dishwasher and had polished the granite counter where the food preparation had taken place. Only then could I feed my daughter as long as I kept a cloth close by to wipe up any crumbs that fell while she ate. Otherwise, my stepdaughter would jump in before the place I had been standing in had cooled off tidying up everything not allowing me the freedom to do it once my baby had been fed and taken care of. It drove me crazy and I left there vowing that I would never stay at her home again until our daughter was at an age where I didn't have to carry her in one arm while working feverishly with the other trying to clean up after her. Karen's advice would have served my stepdaughter well.

To this day, Karen's words echo through my mind and I can't thank her enough for giving me the best advice any new mom can receive. Our daughter is happy, her crayons are spread all over the living room, her toys are scattered, her puzzle pieces are on the floor, on the furniture and on her little table and I don't care. At the end of the day, once she goes to bed, I tidy it up and smile to myself happy in the knowledge that she had a wonderful, stress-free and fun-filled day and you know what?? So did I! Climbing into our own unmade bed once in a while isn't that bad after all!

What's for Dinner Tonight?

Here it is just a little over two weeks and I think I'm finally over the cold/flu that my daughter brought home from her Early Learning classmates. My husband is nearly over it and my daughter who is only 3 1/2 tolerated it much better than either of us. Oh sure, I wiped her nose on a pretty regular basis, listened to her cough during the day and all night but overall, this little bug didn't slow her down at all. She spent her days running through the house, laughing, jumping, climbing on the furniture and drawing. All the regular activities 3 1/2 year olds get up to when they have a mom who is either too sick or too tired to keep them under control.

It hasn't been all bad though. If I had to pick the best part of being stuffed up and sick with a cold/flu, it would be the freedom from having to decide what to cook for dinner each night. During the past two weeks, our evening meals were either soup or chowder right out of the can so there was almost no prep work and very little clean up. On the few evenings we felt like having something a little more substantial, my husband cooked or we ordered take out. Oh yes, how spoiled I have been while playing up this cold/flu for all it's been worth.

So now with the color back in my cheeks, my coughing under control and the wads of kleenex no longer bulging out of each pocket, it's back to reality. My husband came home for lunch today and just before leaving to go back to finish the afternoon, I hear those words I have not heard for two weeks "What's for dinner tonight?".

It's now back to standing in the kitchen with my head stuck in the freezer (and not for the hot flashes this time Lol!) rooting around and wondering "What am I going to make for dinner tonight?" That age old question that has plagued women since the Stone Age. As I glance through my pantry to see what groceries I still have on hand since before catching my cold, I decide on curry shrimp, steamed rice and chicken pad thai without the bean sprouts. Don't be impressed though, the curry sauce comes out of a jar, the shrimp are bagged in the freezer and so is the lone boneless, skinless chicken breast and the pad thai sauce is in a jar. All I have to do is cook the rice for the side dish, boil the rice noodles for the pad thai and open a couple of jars, heat everything up, throw in the shrimp and chicken and voila "Dinner".

So now I'm off to the kitchen to work my magic but before I do, I have just one question for you, "What are you making for dinner tonight?"

Special K, Ice Cream and Popsicles!

Sounds like a recipe for disaster, right? Well, this cold or flu or whatever it is has completely taken over the house. We are all coughing, sneezing and blowing! Right now, my focus has changed to getting rid of this cold rather than getting rid of my big butt! Funny thing is, I've still managed to lose a bit this past week even though my new diet consists of Special K and fruit for breakfast and then soup for both lunch and dinner with plenty of ice cream and popsicles in between to sooth my sore throat. I bet if I took the time or energy to do an accurate calorie count, I'm still well below 1800 per day so at least I'm maintaining what was lost last week plus adding a bit more to my total weight loss. Still haven't been able to go back to yoga although I'm aiming for this Wednesday if I can get my coughing under control.

Oh the joys of getting my daughter out of the house for a couple of hours per week and into the company of 12 other toddlers along with their germs! If this is any indication of what our Winters are going to be like for the next 15 years, I'm going to need to get back into shape more than ever. Wait till those stomach bugs go around. Can't wait to clean up the mess they will bring not to mention, catch it myself. I don't remember the last time my stomach was so upset it caused me to vomit, not even during my pregnancy. I was one of those women the other pregnant ladies would secretly hate because I had no morning sickness at all. During my pregnancy, I would occasionally get the very slightest touch of nausea that would start around 10:00 at night so I just went to bed and then would wake up the next morning feeling great. Yes, those were the days when I could actually get a full, uninterrupted 8 or 9 hours of sleep. Yes, those were the days!

Once the baby was born, I was up every three hours to breast feed in addition to waking up every time she moved in her bed. That waking every time she moves is still going on to this day. Doesn't matter that she's across the hall, I still hear everything. In the old days, I used to be able to sleep through a thunder storm without waking up, now all she has to do is turn her head on her pillow and I'm wide awake. I wonder if this will ever wear off??

So back to the challenges at hand, yes, I'm still on the path of trying to lose some weight before our trip, I'm also trying to get myself, our daughter and my husband over this flu and yes, I'm still trying to deal with menopause. As I try to get over this cold, all I can say is "I can't tell if I've got a fever or having one long hot flash!!"