Monday, January 4, 2010

If Anyone is Curious...

Today I've reposted my first blog entry for anyone who is at all curious about how I became a Menopausal New Mom.  Back in April when it was first published, I had no followers but really needed a place to vent not only my frustration but to journal my confusion somewhere, anywhere.  So here is a condensed version:


It came in the form of a phone call.  The nurse from my doctor's office where I had recently had my annual check-up. "Did you get the results of my hormone tests?" I asked, anxious to find out why my periods had been so inconsistent lately believing it was my bodies way of trying to readjust after my recent pregnancy.

"Oh yes." she replied "You have the hormone levels of a post-menopausal woman, you're in menopause.  Nothing to worry about, you're normal, we'll see you next year for your check-up. Bye."  click.

What did she just say!!  Was that it?  I stared into the phone and then looked over at my daughter sitting in her highchair eating cereal. This can't be right, or is it? I'm 47 now. Maybe this is normal or is it?  Do I have to figure this out at the same time I'm trying to adjust to being a first-time mom?!!

The only difference I had noticed was my periods had become inconsistent. Surely my recent pregnancy had triggered that, not menopause. How could this happen now when I needed every bit of energy I had left in my body to raise this child? I couldn't be sidetracked with the challenge of facing menopause too! At least not yet!

Life was finally getting back to being somewhat normal. We had moved twice in the last two years and I was making the difficult transition from career woman, to new wife, to stay-at-home mom and now this! I couldn't help but wonder, "Who the Hell am I now?"

Before all these changes, I had worked in the insurance industry, every position from reception right up to traveling on the road doing sales and service. More than 20 years of building up a rewarding career that had allowed me to buy a home, travel, do whatever I felt like.

I hadn't married or lived common-law. I was one of those women who could enter any room full of men and walk out with the only one who was unemployed, drank too much, already had a girlfriend, and was  living in his mother's basement. I was a magnet for this type. My friends at work used to joke about how my life could be any "movie of the week". Most of them were living the traditional life of being married to a nice guy and raising a family. Not me,  but at least at that time I had a clear perception of who I was.

I couldn't help but wonder "What the Hell was I thinking?!!" At the age of 44,  I had married a nice, self-employed older man who already had four children, either in university or on their own. Life was going to be good, just the two of us other than the occasional short visit from one of his kids. What I didn't know at that time was how much my husband missed raising children now that his were finally out of the house.

During my single years, I had lots of time on my hands to read and I had seen those articles about how difficult it was to become pregnant in your late 30's and nearly impossible once you reached the age of  40. The odds of becoming pregnant now were extremely low, probably impossible even if I did seek medical intervention, which I wasn't going to do. My own eggs?  Impossible at this age.

So there I was, 44 years old and well aware of how remote my chances of becoming pregnant without medical intervention were. They must be somewhere in the negative numbers by now I remember thinking. No problem. I'd stop taking birth control. I probably didn't need them anyway and it would satisfy my husband who wanted to make sure that if there could be a child in our future, at least we were allowing nature to take its course.

So there you have it, me pregnant within a month of getting married and then right into menopause two years later! A definite Menopausal New Mom and thanks to being able to blog it out, I'm finally at peace with it all!!

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57 comments:

singedwingangel said...

Don't ya love how they tell ya things like that so nonchalantly. You know the realize they just dropped an unexpected bomb on you and are secretly laughing on the other side of the now disconnected phone line.. giggling going "he he he i just told her yep you just had a baby but now your stuff is too old to even wake up and slough itself out.. welcome to the change.. doncha just want to smack them?/

Caution Flag said...

Thanks for posting this. I've been putting the pieces of your story together over the last few months, but it was nice to read it in one post!

I do wish docs could remember that what they see is no big deal to them, but it's always a big deal to the patient.

suzicate said...

Love your story. Thanks for sharing. Being a new blogger it seems like I've missed a lot of the good stuff people have posted in the past. I wish I had the time to just peruse blogs all day for a couple of weeks to play catch up! Anyway, great story!

Danielle said...

Thanks for the run down. Looking forward to reading more!!

xoxo
Danielle

blueviolet said...

I'm glad you reposted that! How wild that the body can flip from one thing to another like that!

mama-face said...

I'm glad too that you reposted your story. I've picked pieces here and there but not the whole thing. You are such a strong woman it's obvious that you can take whatever life throws at you. Even though life with a toddler can wear you out no matter what your age, it is harder when you are older. As if I needed to tell you that. Would love to hear tales of the single, world traveling, career woman.

:)

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Man, life really IS what happens while we're busy making other plans, huh?

Tara said...

Thanks for posting. It was great to read how it all got started!

Heather @ Two Little Monkeys said...

Thanks for re-posting, I love reading peoples first blog post.

Carol said...

I am so happy you re-posted this!
Not very often do I back up that far and would have never fully understood.

Glad you found yourself a wonderful man and were blessed with a baby.

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

MM, thank you for re-posting this. I didn'know the whole thing,you're a very srong spirit and you just inspire me.
Have a great New Year!
hugs hugs

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Wow. I didn't know the background and am glad for the reposting! You sure did go through a lot in a short time. Wonder if it is better to go into it naturally or surgically?? Aren't you leaving for your trip soon??

Amy said...

Thanks for sharing your story. I am so glad you got a chance to be a Mom. It is the best job ever. I am scared to go what you went through. I have a few years to do it. Have a great day.

VandyJ said...

Thanks for re-posting. People's reasons for doing things can be so interesting. I'm glad you have this outlet.

PJ said...

thanks for reposting this. i know we all have our archives, but i don't think they get checked out very often, so it is nice to do this every once in awhile for the new readers. have a great day...hugz!

MaryRC said...

totally worth a re post...

Tiffany said...

it's crazy how the body surprises you sometimes. my aunt got married when she was 38 or so and doctors told her she was in early menopause and would never get pregnant...here we are, 10 years later, and she has two gorgeous daughters.

thanks for sharing!

Erin said...

I can relate to this in that I was 27 when we started trying to get pregnant....and silly me, I figured my body was nice & ripe & perfect for growing a baby---all I had to do was stop taking the pill. WRONG. My body/ovaries had other ideas. Who knew it would be so difficult to get pregnant and that all the planets had to be perfectly aligned? Well, I'm very lucky we were able to do two rounds of IVF and now we have beautiful twin girls. But I'm not delusional anymore and I realize my ovaries have the upper hand!

Groovewoman said...

Now it all makes sense...I've been wondering HOW this thing was possible! DANG GIRL!!

Thanks for reposting!

Danielle said...

I love your story. I am a midlife new mommy too. But single. It has been a fun road.
Can't wait to go back and read more from you!

Too Many Hats said...

Thanks for reposting. I wasn't around when you started, but so glad to have found you. What a surprise that pregnancy test must have been for you, but I know you wouldn't have changed it for the world. What a blessing!

Lissaloo said...

Wow, I can't believe the nurse just dropped the bomb on you like that. I'm glad you were able to blog about it as an outlet :)

The Mommyologist said...

Talk about going from one extreme to the other!! For what it's worth...I'm sure glad you started your blog! :)

Melissa said...

Wow...life through you some curve balls! I can't imagine a baby and menopause...you are a strong person!

Janie B said...

Wow! Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you got the best of both worlds...a blessing, perhaps?

Just Another Momma said...

Thanks for sharing! It also drives me nuts when the doctors treat you like just another dollar bill and don't seem to have any feeling about what they're telling you. AND I love your blog!

ModernMom said...

OH I am glad I got to read this! Thanks for re-posting:) You just never know what kind of curve ball life is going to throw you do ya!

Noelle said...

mmmmmmmm...this could be my story four years ago. somehow, things like this always turn out ok, though. now we both have gorgeous daughters. (i'm assuming yours is gorgeous because you are and so is your mum.) btw...are you ever gonna post a pic of her?

Trish said...

Wow...what a story! From the looks of your posts now, sounds like your doing a great job! Not sure most people could!!!

Sarafree said...

Enjoyed reading where this blog all started. I felt like after pregnancy, my body was readjusting hormonally. It seemed like some glimpse into hormone rages. I can't even image what you are going through. Menopause does not sound fun. Where do I go to skip it?

Matty said...

I'm glad you re-posted it because I became a follower long after. Sounds like you would make a great baseball player because mother nature threw you a few curves and you handled them nicely.

yonca said...

What a great post! Thanks for sharing.I'm glad you got a chance to have a baby Deb.It is the greatest job.I was 34 when Aria was born and I never knew I would love being a Mom. Before I was a Mom.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I like how you decided to just let nature take its course, if it was to be and look...it was!!!

The good thing is that you don't have to worry about pmsing while raising your baby girl. You can just go with the flow and have wild, passionate romance without the thought of pregnancy (unless nature takes its course again).

I have my pre-menopausal Baby Boo and some days, it's pretty darn tough.

Loved your posting of this.

Tammy said...

I love that you reposted your story. Wow! I am 43 and have been to the doctor a couple times this year asking if I was peri-menopausal...nope! I had several of the signs but my estrogen level was fine. They did work progesterone into my life since I was extremely low. Have you had any of the symptoms that come with it?

Secretia said...

That is a really interesting story, it could almost be the first chapter of a book, it is in fact, the book that is your blog!

Secretia

Helene said...

I laugh at doctors. What do they know? My RE gave us a 1-3% chance of conceiving with my own eggs (I was diagnosed with high FSH at 33 yrs old). We did have to use donor eggs for our 1st set of twins but the 2nd set came along naturally without any medical intervention, without us even trying to get pregnant. Doctors can preach all the stats they want...nature will take its course every single time.

I'm glad you reposted this!!

Nezzy said...

Just goes to show ya'll those docs...they don't know it all. I am so happy you did this post, I was not here in the beginning. Thanks.

You have a wonderfully blessed day!

Together We Save said...

I love your blog.... thanks for sharing how it all began.

Alex said...

I have no faith in doctors anymore, they really don't know it all.

Thanks for the repost, always love finding out where people are coming from.

Mrs Montoya said...

I love the back story on how you got so crazy :) Clever idea to re-post. I'm so glad to be along on your journey and admire you for putting it out there and writing through it all. I've been newly married and pregnant and that is no picnic on it's own. The rest would have surely sent me over the edge!!!

Bev G said...

Great to see the story again Deb, maybe I should use it in my next series of posts on reincarnation...lol

Jacki said...

I remember this post :)

Respectfully Yours said...

Thanks for posting this, as one of your new followers I enjoyed reading how you came about the name of your blog. What a story...sounds to me like God needed a great new mom and chose you. I have a sneaky suspician,he chose wisely. Happy New Year

Traci said...

Considering your odds, maybe you should play the lottery. LOL.

I'm glad that you started this blog. I certainly enjoy reading it and I hope that it has provided you the release you needed. I think blogging is so special because it combines a journal with a community. I know that in four months, it has dramatically changed my outlook. :-)

Corrie Howe said...

I didn't start menopause that early, but I went from single mom in a career with lots of visibility to executives and living in metropolitan areas to being a first time wife, not working and living close to the end of the earth...oh, and pregnant right off the honeymoon.

gayle said...

Thanks for reposting this!!! I feel like I know you so much better now. It is wonderful that you were able to get preg. so fast..It gives me hope for my daughter!!

adrienzgirl said...

I enjoyed reading that Deb! I can't believe that they just matter of factly said "Oh, now worries, it's just menopause. Click."

I hope you found a different doc after that!

Buckeroomama said...

I'm glad you re-posted this. Kudos for handling all of it with aplomb --being a new mom, dealing with menopause at the same time. That's a lot on anyone's plate.

I guess I should be prepared for the big M one of these days, too!

honeypiehorse said...

Thank you, I always wondered.

kys said...

I liked reading your backstory. You and I have similar loser magnets. (Or had I hope.)

Mae Rae said...

thanks for the repost. I was curious and one of these days had every intention of finding out why. Now, i know.

Rebecca S. said...

Nice to read the history of your blog, Deb! I guess we are never saved from surprise till we're dead!

Rebecca S. said...

Nice to read the history of your blog, Deb! I guess we are never saved from surprise till we're dead!

Connie K said...

Great story and thank you sharing !! geesh what stuff us women go through so glad you started this blog you are my daily read :)Big hugs deb,

Anita said...

i think when I "met" you, you were up to maybe 10 posts, plus or minus. I remember going back to all the old posts to get the beginning of your story. I think you were reading some of my old post too. :)
We've come some distance now, and I hope both of us will continue to blog, that we will not grow tired of it.
Here's to blogging!

NYCGAL said...

Thanks for sharing this!! I really enjoyed reading. I am so happy that my gf Connie got me into the world of blogging. I find it a great way to express myself. Journaling has always helped me. And the added bonus is meeting wonderful woman like yourself.

Anonymous said...

Keep posting stuff like this i really like it