The Blur!!

Recapping that first year.

Funny how when you are pregnant, you plan for your new bundle of joy, buying cute little outfits, taking the time to shop whenever you feel like it for stuffed animals, pretty decorative items for the nursery and thinking about the things you will do together. Dreaming about all the fun you will have, how this new baby will respond so lovingly to everything that you are doing for it and with it.  

I had no idea that this little 7lb 6oz person would start exerting her will the minute she got here. I had planned to do a "Baby & Me" Post Natal Yoga Exercise DVD with her. I had already purchased baby lotion so we could bond over loving massages I would give her while we listened to soothing music together. What a wonderful relationship we were going to have. Do I need to tell anyone out there who has kids that the DVD is still in the cellophane wrapper and I recently threw out the UNopened baby massage lotion because it had expired?? Probably not! LOL!!

The reality hit while I was still in the hospital trying to learn how to breast feed. Is it just me or does anyone else wonder why some nurses have to make this so damned complicated! It's no wonder so many moms give up! They had me propped up in the bed while they stacked six big fluffy pillows around my body with exact precision enabling my baby to lay in that perfect position. I would sit there barely breathing for fear one of those pillows would move and the entire mess collapse and go flying off the bed in all directions leaving my baby hanging on to my boob for dear life. Is it any wonder I wanted to run screaming down the hall for formula in a bottle? They wanted me to do this every three hours for the next how many months??!!  I would have been better off grabbing an old pair of pantyhose, stuffing them full of rags, duct taping the waistband shut and tying that around my gut for the baby to lay on. Thank God for those stuffed horseshoe-shaped feeding pillows. Without mine, there is no way I would have been able to feed this baby the way they showed us in the hospital.   

Had I actually been planning to sleep that first year? LOL!  I honestly thought she would need sleep. I expected the nighttime feedings but I didn't expect the sleep deprivation that goes along with having a new baby around. Everyone tells you "Go ahead, sleep when she naps". So simple but realistic, no chance! When would I take a shower, get dressed,  grab something to eat, cook a meal (as if!), wash the clothes I had been wearing for a week straight? Feeding on demand may not sound like such a big deal but I can tell you, everything else either gets put on hold or ignored unless it's on fire! 

Unless you have around the clock help, there is no way you will get ten minutes in a row to yourself. Having a live-in nanny must be the secret to how movie stars can emerge a month after having twins looking well rested and sporting skin-tight clothing to show off their perfectly flat stomachs. Time to workout, prepare a healthy meal, are you kidding?? I needed sleep! Hell, I couldn't even find time to comb my hair. It's no wonder so many new moms cut their hair short. I'm still wearing mine in a ponytail everyday! 

So in all that chaos, I must have been going through menopause.  Is it any wonder I didn't notice?? LOL!!!